


Navigating distances

by betterthanfirewhisky



Series: Crawling back to you [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Post-Battle of Hogwarts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-26 21:43:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 31,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20937215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/betterthanfirewhisky/pseuds/betterthanfirewhisky
Summary: The war has ended, but Ginny Weasley's mind is not at ease.After Harry has defeated the dark lord, she wants to be there for him but also give him his space, she wants to hold on to him tight but also wants to yell  and vent at him, she wants to be back together with him but also wants herself to be in the right frame of mind for a healthy relationship.In course of eight months, she will be doing all of that.And Harry, well he is navigating through guilt and grief to love and light.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever fan fiction and since, English is not my first language, there might be some errors, which I apologize for in advance. This is all just my idea of how things would have unfolded between Harry and Ginny after the war. Most of it is how I have always thought it would transpire while some of it (towards the end) got added along the way. Hope you enjoy it.  
Please be kind. :p

An hour had passed since Voldemort’s body had hit the floor. An hour since, the world that everyone had known for a year, had turned upside down.

The terror, the chaos, the paranoia, the unending anxiety about the safety of loved ones had already started to fade away, but it was another horrifying feeling that was taking over Ginny Weasley’s mind and body- pervasive grief, as she was sure, was the case for everyone that surrounded her in the Great Hall at the moment.

She could feel her mother’s hiccups and slow tears falling down her mother’s cheek into her own hair as she sat with her head on Molly’s shoulder staring into nothingness.

For some odd reason, even though grief seemed to be burning and piercing through every inch of her skin, Ginny could not seem to be able shed a single tear. Not that her eyes didn’t well up every few minutes, but she managed to blink the tears away. _I can not cry -_she thought- _not here, not in front of all these people._ Not when her mother was sobbing into her head and shoulder and clearly needed her to be strong. But how long will she be able to continue? How much longer will she be holding the scream that was building up in her chest, stronger with every minute? She needed to get out of here and get to somewhere secluded. But how could she leave her mother behind?

She pulled herself from her mother’s shoulder and looked up at her face. Molly gave her a weak smile through thick tears.

“You might want to go get some rest sweetheart” came her father’s voice from behind her mother. She looked up at him and he gave her a look that said ‘_Go, I’m here for you mother_’. She nodded at her father, kissed both her parents’ cheeks while they both reminded her how brave she had been today and how proud they were of her.

She shot a glance around the great hall, warm rays of sun peeped in through the windows, but could not quite penetrate the chill and darkness that hung inside the hall. Bill was hunched over one of the tables with a grim looking Fluer at his side rubbing his back, Charlie sat with Hagrid both holding mugs of tea spiked with firewhisky, whispering something to each other, Percy sat across from Charlie and Hagrid looking petrified and George- well it was hard to describe what George looked like. Not wanting to spare another second looking at the glum faces or the neatly lined up bodies again, Ginny started to walk out of the Great Hall, pacing up with every step she took.

Tears had started to brim her eyes again and dangerously threatened to fall down her cheeks.

_Not yet_ -she reminded herself breaking into a sprint down the corridor towards the staircase ahead.

Unknowingly, she was heading towards the Gryffindor Tower. She slowed down when she spotted the portrait of the Fat Lady from some distance. She headed towards it planning to head straight to her dormitory and try to soothe the unbearable pang in her chest.

The Fat Lady waved off her apology for not having the current password and swung open for her.

She stepped in and was relieved to find the common room completely empty, but to her horror, as soon as her brain registered the fact that she was alone, her will to not scream gave away and she let out a howl that she didn’t know she was capable of. Tears unabashedly ran down her face, she shut her eyes tight, and bent to clutch her knees, attempting to let it all out. She continued to sob through pressed lips as she slowly opened her eyes a few seconds later and tried to drag herself to her dormitory in vain.

At the foot of the staircase, her legs gave up and she decided to settle herself at the spot. She brought her knees to her chin, buried her head between them and started shaking madly as the images of Tonks, Remus, Colin and all the others danced before her eyes, cold and fallen. She tried not to picture Fred, but ended up letting out another howl when she failed at her attempt.

And then, another horrifying image crept up in her mind- Harry, all fragile and broken, scooped up in Hagrid’s arms. She shuddered at the thought and a loud sob escaped her mouth.

_He is OK_, she reminded herself, _he is alive and he is back, you saw him defeat Riddle_.

It was her Harry- strong and undefeated who had got the world riddance from the evil of Riddle for good. Her lips twitched up a bit, but immediately a huge tide of anger washed over the momentary happiness. _How could she smile at a time like this?_ And then unexpectedly, her anger channeled itself towards the man that had caused her to smile at such inappropriate time.

_Should she go find him? And what would she do when she does? Hold him and bawl on his chest for hours? Kiss him and tell him how much she had missed him? Or punch every single inch of his body that she could reach? _

For a second, the temptation to go for the third option seemed stronger than the other two because- how dare he? How dare he just make her believe that he was dead? Was almost a year of disappearance not enough? How could he make her shatter into pieces in one moment?

The voice in her head grew louder and louder by the moment.

_You’ve given him that power-_ came another voice from inside her-_ by loving him more than your own being_. _You have given him that kind of importance, that the thought of losing him puts you through as much pain as losing someone from your family would_.

Her chest clenched, there it was again- image of Fred lying on his back, not moving a muscle, just lying in peace with a smile on his face mocking her, mocking George and Mum and Dad and Bill, Charlie, Percy, Ron and everyone else.

Grief took over the turbulence of all the other emotions, that had engulfed her for a few moments, that were associated with Harry- anxiety, panic, anger, agitation and love, immense love. There was so much she currently felt when it came to Harry.

_But there would be time later to think and feel anything about him_, she decided, this was the time to grieve those who would never come back, whom she would never talk to again.

Harry bade farewell to Ron and Hermione just outside the entrance hall, knowing they really needed and would probably much appreciate some time alone.

He climbed up the flight of stairs and headed straight to the Gryffindor Tower. He couldn’t bear to even peep into the Great Hall where all those brave hearts lay fallen, for his sake- he felt his stomach lurch at the thought.

No, he could not spare another glance at those bodies lined up in the Great Hall without embarrassingly breaking down and he did not need that right now. Sleep- sleep was what he needed at the moment, so he kept walking.

On his way, numerous hands patted him on the back in congratulations and many voices called out his name trying to strike a conversation about his victory. He nodded politely at everyone and ignored all the attempts made to invoke anything more than a nod from him. But the only voice he would have liked to respond to never came.

_She must be with her family of course_ he thought and shook away all the other thoughts from his mind as he made his way up to the Fat Lady’s portrait. She just beamed at him as he approached and swung forward with a word of congratulations to let him inside.

He climbed through the hole and had just reached the fireplace when he heard someone sobbing. He looked around for the source of the sound and seconds later found himself staring at the flaming bright red hair visible above a pair of knees, one of which had a deep cut, settled on the foot of staircase that led to the girls’ dormitory. He immediately stopped in his tracks.

He blinked at the sight in front of him. Ginny was shaking violently with her head buried in her knees and hands wrapped around them.

He could feel his stomach falling from its place and his heart breaking into a million pieces on seeing Ginny in this state.

_He should go to her, wrap her in his arms and console her, let her know that it was all going to be fine_\- was his immediate thought. But as soon as he made to lift his leg to approach her, another thought, a much stronger one took over him - _Was it really going to be fine? Did he really believe that? Would he be able to lie to her again? He had already broken her heart once, he had kept so many secrets from her, she deserved nothing but the truth from him now. And what would he say to her? Would those words mean anything at all? He had caused her so much pain already. He was the one because of whom she would never see her brother again._

The fear of hurting her more and ripples of guilt generating inside him, made him ceased him at his spot again. He retreated and hit the edge of the sofa by the fireplace that once used to be his (and Ginny’s) favorite.

An image of him and Ginny snuggling by the fire in the same sofa formed vividly in his mind. It all seemed like another life. Would ever have those moments back with her?

Maybe, it was best if he did not go anywhere close to her, at least for now. Maybe all he needed to do was give her time to grieve. With that thought he sank into the sofa behind him and hung his head to hold it with both his hands.

His entire body ached, he longed to get to bed, but he just couldn’t leave Ginny alone like that- not again. He kept staring at her as all sorts of thoughts ran through his mind- the whole past year flashed across his eyes, then the battle, the forest, his last thought before he had died, the image of Voldemort dying and all the others who had died in the battle. He kept feeling more and more miserable until his eyes got heavier than he could force to keep open and unknowingly, he finally dozed off on the sofa.

About half and hour later, Hermione was making her way through the portrait hole. She stopped at the sight of Harry sprawled on a couch, his limbs dangling at odd angles, his glasses askew, and his face shrieking of deep exhaustion. Hermione thought of waking him up and advising him to head up to the dormitory for a more comfortable sleep. However, seeing him sound asleep without a worry in the world made her think maybe it was best not to disturb him.

And just then something else caught her attention- a sob. She looked around, and found herself looking at something more horrifying. She had hardly ever seen her friend weeping- let alone wailing so miserably. She approached Ginny, silently, careful not to wake Harry up.

She knelt down by Ginny’s side and gently ran her hand on the top of her head. Ginny looked up at her and they exchanged sad, tired smiles. Hermione noticed Ginny’s eyes which were all red and puffy, her hair which was a mess coming lose out of her pony tail, several small cuts on her face and wrists, and one deep slash on one of her knees. She wondered if there were more cuts and scrapes on parts of her body that she could not see.

“Ginny, you need to get some rest. Come on” she finally said tugging Ginny’s arm and gently pulling her up. To her relief, Ginny did not protest but simply nodded and stood up.

They were just about to turn and climb up the stairs when Ginny’s eyes spotted a mop of unruly black hair over the armrest of what was once her favorite sofa. She stared at it for few seconds before realizing who it was, and released herself from Hermione’s grip to make her way towards the sofa.

Hermione made a feeble sound trying to stop her, but found that she didn’t have the heart to do it. She watched Ginny kneel by the couch and lay her palm softly on the back of Harry’s hand.

It seemed that Ginny did not want to wake him up either, as she tried to remain as silent as possible, suppressing her sniffs. But then, she started to lean towards Harry’s face and Hermione was about to warn her that she would wake Harry up, when she realized what Ginny was doing. Ginny had turned and tilted her head so that her ear was close to Harry’s face. She was hearing him breathe and making sure he was alive.

Hermione gasped as her eyes filled up with fresh batch of tears. What she was witnessing was so sweet and yet so sad. She had to go through a lot- fights, jealousy, even abandonment for a short while to finally have the man she loved at her side, but she was extremely glad in that moment that she didn’t have endure what Ginny had to. If she ever was to be told that Ron is- no even thinking of that possibility in a far, far future was tormenting.

Ginny lifted her head up with a genuinely relieved smile amidst the tears and looked at Hermione.

“Look, he is breathing. He’s really alive” she whispered to Hermione who smiled at her and nodded in agreement.

Ginny didn’t know she doubted the fact that Harry was actually alive but was oddly relieved on being sure he was.

Ron had managed to tear his gaze off of Fred’s calm, serene, smiling face and decided to join Hermione (if he could) in her dorm room. He thought she might need him tonight and he was sure that he needed her. 

When he entered the Gryffindor common room, he stopped immediately at the sight of his sister bending to kneel by the sofa on which Harry was sleeping. He watched her touch Harry and listen to him breathe and whisper in relief that he was alive to Hermione. It broke his heart. He felt a surge of affection and longing to hold his baby sister and made a mental note to rip Harry’s head off if he ever hurt her again- savior of the wizarding world or not.

With that thought, he moved to sit beside Ginny and stroked her arm once.

“Gin, you really need to go to bed” he said when she looked at him. To his amazement, Ginny threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly.

“I could have lost you” Ginny said, in a barely audible whisper.

“It’s all Ok” Ron replied stroking her back. “I’m fine Gin. He pulled back to look at her and smiled while wiping tears off her face. “Time for bed now, OK?”

Ginny nodded in agreement. She no longer had the heart to deny him or any of her family anything, after seeing them all so close to the grip of death, after having lost one of them. She got up and followed Hermione to the dorm room, doubting she would get any sleep at all tonight. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An insomniac Ginny finds distraction in helping with the chores around The Burrow while back to back funerals and recurring nightmares have left Harry mentally exhausted.

Harry entered the Great Hall, feeling far from refreshed after more than 12 hours of sleep with a minor break, after, what according to Ron had been 8 hours of sleeping on the couch, when Ron had woken him up and asked him to go upstairs and make himself more comfortable. On inquiring about Ginny, he was told not to worry and that she is up in her dorm room, sleeping. He looked around the Great Hall and found that the bodies of the Martyrs of battle had been removed from there and were being assemble in the in the grounds, while others let the deaths sink in and started moving home and preparing for the funerals.

Mrs. Weasley hurried towards him, probably sensing his destress from his face and wrapped him in a tight embrace. Over her head, he could see Ginny at one of the tables, it was hard to tell which table belonged to which house now. She was holding a cup of tea and sipping it with what seemed to be significant effort.

Ginny had entered the Great Hall to join her family (those who had made it to the Hall in time for tea after recovering some energy and in some cases sanity, from a few hours of rest). Her time in the dormitory was spent way less in sleeping and way more in tossing and turning on her bed till she finally gave up on the idea of sleeping. The longest she had slept in one go was for an hour and fifteen minutes before she woke up for umpteenth time in one morning to a sweat drenched back and violently pounding heart.

She had almost collided with her mother as soon as entered the Hall.

“Oh Ginny dear, I was just coming to wake you up. Come, have some tea” her Mum had said with a forced smile on her face.

“No, Mum, I don’t-” Ginny had begun, but one look at her mother’s eyes had made her stop. There was so much pain in there that she felt, she couldn’t refuse her anything at all.

“Tea sounds great Mum” she had smiled at her mother. “You’ll join me, won’t you?”

Her mother smiled back at her, and this time it had looked more genuine.

A little sense of pride had crept up Ginny’s chest for making her mother smile in middle of this endless ocean of grief and in that moment she had decided she was going stop being this breathing, walking poisonous cocktail of emotions, and be strong for all of her family. As the youngest one in the family, she was sure that she would be expected to break down and need shoulders of all those older members to support her and let her cry on. But she decided not to be a burden but a pillar of strength for her family and maybe, if needed, if he would let her, for Harry.

So, when they arrived at the Burrow the following day, that’s what she did. She tried to keep a smiling face whenever she talked to anyone and was constantly on her toes to bring people anything they needed- tea, food, pain potions, a book to read- anything. She spent more and more time in the kitchen helping her mother out, but more to keep her company.

There was another person who was in dire need of company- George, but he refused to get out of his room and mostly had his meals inside too. Ginny took to making sure that he was taking his meals on time and in proper amount. Several times, she tried to strike up a conversation with him, but he silently refused to talk.

Ginny realized if she was going to tirelessly work around the house to keep herself distracted from Fred’s death, it was best that she didn’t try to force anything out of George as it just made her more crestfallen to see him in that depressed state without his most significant half.

Distraction- funny how she hadn’t even thought about this before, she was not just keeping herself busy helping everyone out, but was also keeping herself distracted.

As odd it may have sounded in her head, she knew she really needed it. So, she started lingering in the garage with her father when he stripped down muggle appliances and the put them back in place. It was interesting to try and decipher the way these appliances worked. She helped with sorting and cleaning around the garden that was growing wild as it was abandoned since Easter, she even went to shop for Maps and Guide Books for Australia with Hermione as she and Ron were to go find her parents as soon as possible.

Nights were the hardest, when everyone resorted to their bedrooms and there was nothing to distract her. That’s when the pain in her muscles from repeatedly being subjected to crutiatus curse, which although had been troubling a little less since a few days before the war, but had started to grow again especially in her legs, with all the chores she had been doing through the day, bugged her the most. Then there was that big blistered gash on her left arm which she had got from slapping Crabbe across his face, when she couldn’t hold her temper on discovering him torturing a first year in the middle of the trophy room, just for the pleasure of hearing the little muggle born girl howl in pain. In the rage of being slapped and humiliated in front of his mates, Crabbe had attacked her as she retreated, with some dark spell she had never heard of. The effects of the spell were weird and confusing, she felt like a dagger had cut through her arm, yet not a single drop of blood oozed out, instead, it burned like hell and left numerous little puss filled blisters tracing the cut.

She was sure that Crabbe had actually aimed for her face, but missed it as she ducked sideways just in time. Even Madam Pomfry had not been able to help lower the pain at all and had rather regretfully informed her that if anything at all can be done for the scar, it would be only after the blisters have completely dried out, which again, she could do nothing about, at the moment. She had felt the agonizing burning sensation on her arm for ages.

The incident had happened just a day before she was heading home for Easter holidays. Her mother had taken one look at her paler than ever face, her weakened frame and her puss and blood releasing arm and refused to let her go back to Hogwarts and took her to Aunt Muriel’s along with the rest of the family instead. Her numerous protests over the next few days, her resolve to keep fighting the war that was more personal to her than her mother could understand, her partially true arguments of Neville and other boys having been covered in many more scars than her, and this one was nothing in comparison, had little effect on her mother.

What her Mum didn’t know then, was about her back, which had been whipped by the Carrow siblings, whom she couldn’t help but curse out loud when they came running to the source of commotion in the Trophy room, but obviously sided with Crabbe on his torture of the poor first year and his way of retorting to Ginny. She seriously needed to work on controlling her temper, she had thought back then as they whipped her amidst the taunting laughs of their favorite minions, till Professor McGonagall interrupted, shortly followed by Snape, who, under McGonagall’s stern gaze and furious protests, had to order the Carrows to retreat.

Her Mum did discover it in a matter of few days though, and any little effect that Ginny’s protests had made on her mother, had died by this discovery. To top that, her father, who had remained comparatively calm and reasonable till that point, now openly supported her mother in her decision.

She couldn’t lay either on her back or her left side for weeks after that, which meant there was only one way she could lay down (not sleep, mind), which added further to her muscle pain. Nevertheless, both of those and the numerous other scars had started to fade with time and the pain they had generated had been abating slowly, very slowly.

Now, when she was back to the warmth and safety of her home, but still had sleepless nights, one after the other, she often found her thoughts straying around Harry just like the past 9 and a half months- _what had he, Ron, and Hermione been doing during the time they were on the run, what kind of horrors they must have encountered, how Harry was feeling now that he had won the battle against Voldemort. Did he ever think about her in the last few months (which to her, had seemed like a billion years)?_

Sometimes she would think about what could have been his last words to her, “_You’ve got to come back in_.” Those words had been an attempt to keep her distant from the ongoing battle. Maybe that’s what he thought, that she was someone helpless, something to be protected and nothing else. It also brought with it the almost sickening feeling that Harry had no faith in her or her capabilities, making her all the more restless.

Sleep was a luxury Ginny had not been able to afford in months, whether it was from worrying about Harry, Ron and Hermione or the pain that surged through her body every minute or now, from grief and guilt and longing and so many emotions she was feeling at once.

She was used to not being able to fall asleep every now and then as the nightmares from her first year at Hogwarts haunted her, as Tom Riddle’s whispers fogged her tired mind from time to time, but this time the insomnia was way too prolonged for her liking.

So, at some nights when her body would allow, she would resort to flying for a couple hours, the only distraction she could think of at nights.

The last funeral had been of Colin Creevey, 8 days after they had returned to the Burrow. Of course, Ginny had to go and bid farewell to one of her closest, most trusted friends, and Harry had made it to almost every funeral till now (and had locked himself in Ron’s room after each one them, but that was another subject).

Harry had been feeling mentally exhausted, not only from the recurring nightmares from the past year and the battle but also from attending Funerals, one after another, as all they did was remind him how he didn’t stop what he could have- sooner, how he could have avoided all those sacrifices. Yet he made to each and every one of them offering his apologies to the fallen ones and their families. With every funeral, however, his words seemed more and more hollow and meaningless to him, for words could not bring the dead back, words couldn’t recover the losses these families were suffering because of him.

So, after Remus and Tonks’ funeral 7 days after their return to the Burrow, he decided he did not have the courage or energy for any more funerals or to dodge the audacious reporters who only got to corner him at these funerals ever since the wards around the Burrow had been tightened to avoid exactly these kinds of poundings.

His little encounter with Teddy and the thought that this little bundle of unadulterated love and innocence and everything that is pure will be forced to grow up without the warmth of his parents’ care and affection, had sent him over the edge.

Through most of Fred’s funeral (one of the firsts he had attended), Harry had been stealing glances at Ginny to see how she was coping up. He was amazed at the strength she displayed every day, catering to each and everyone’s needs (including himself) with a smile on her lips.

Despite of this, the grief in her usually blazing eyes did not escape his notice. Neither did the almost healed but still starkly prominent long gash on her arm traced by several tiny drying blisters, nor did the fading but violent looking red marks that sometimes peeped out of the back of her top, just below her neck when she wore an oversized t-shirt or jumper, nor did the numerous other bruises and scars all over the exposed skin of her hands or face, nor did her wiping tears from her face on various occasions when she thought nobody was looking. He wanted nothing more than to wrap her in his arms and dive deep into the story behind each of her scars, and tell her about his own, but neither did the timing ever feel right nor he could ever gather the courage to do it.

Harry knew, that just like him, Ginny had been having sleepless nights too, and sometimes he would catch her flying at nights for comfort. He would stare at her flying form through the window of Ron’s Bedroom when he himself was too tormented by the nightmares to get any sleep. Oddly enough, it brought him a pleasant, warm sense of content and peace- watching Ginny fly at nights, it was almost therapeutic. Although, every second that she would disappear from his sight behind a tree or just into the darkness, Harry’s heart would start hammering against his chest in panic, but the next second she would appear again and Harry would heave a deep sigh of relief.

So, on returning from the Lupins’ funeral when Ginny announced that she just had to be at Colin’s side when he would finally leave for the world of the departed, Harry convinced himself for one last goodbye, for Ginny’s sake, to be by her side, to make sure she went through it alright.

He and Ginny went, attended and then returned from the service in complete silence except for polite greetings.

He was aching to talk to her, touch her, hug her, kiss her, tell her how much he missed her. As Ginny reached for the door knob at the Burrow’s kitchen to enter, he called out “Ginny”.

She turned to look back at him, her hand still on the door knob.

_What if she doesn’t want this? What if she rejects him and his feelings for her? What if she has moved on? What if she too blamed him for all the deaths, just as much as he did? Would he be able to go through another yet painful sensation when guilt and remorse were already eating him up?_

He realized he has just been staring at her with his mouth agape for more than 20 seconds and quickly added “Thanks….for looking out for everyone, for……..me, in every little way you do. We all really needed that.”

Ginny smiled at him.

“Anytime” she said and pushed the door open, signaling for him to enter.

Burdened and almost sickened by his most recent realizations, Harry headed straight to Ron’s room, completely oblivious to the desperate longing with which Ginny was staring at his back until he disappeared behind the door.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things have started to fall back in place with people returning to work, people being offered jobs and spirits lifting in general.  
But then a letter from Hogwarts arrives and Harry finds his best source of comfort would be moving away.

A month and a half had passed since Colin’s funeral as time moved to the end of June and to Harry’s relief, it was the last funeral and he no longer had to go face any more broken families, offering them meaningless words of condolences. The heartfelt gratitude he received in exchange for his apologies and condolences did nothing to abate his guilt.

On the contrary, every funeral had only fueled it more, and it felt like tones of invisible mass was weighing down his shoulders which he just couldn’t shake off.

Even the huge donation he made for the repair of Hogwarts and the families that had been struck hard by the war taking a chunk of the fortune he had inherited from his parents and his godfather did very little to help cleaning his conscience.

In the little time he spent his outside his and Ron’s room, he found his eyes following Ginny while she helped her mother cook or cleaned the house and the garden or tried, along with the rest of her siblings, to cheer George up, who had started to make small but frequent appearances outside of his room now. Fortunately, the collective effort of the Weasley siblings to cheer their brother up seemed to be working, slowly, but effectively.

Meanwhile, Bill and Fluer had returned to the Shell Cottage shortly after the Lupins’ funeral, Percy and Arthur had joined their respective jobs at the ministry back, Charlie was all set to move back to Romania in a couple of days, Ron and Hermione had been back from Australia just a week ago. Having successfully hunted down her parents and retrieved their memories, Hermione had moved to her parents’ house, but had visited the Burrow twice in the past week to help Harry and Ron with their Auror training program applications.

Yes, Harry, Ron and Hermione had been quite eagerly presented with the offer undergo a two years training program and then turn into full time Aurors without having to take their NEWTs or the entrance tests.

Hermione had politely turned the offer down, stating that she was really keen on finishing her education and taking the NEWTs, and frankly being an Auror was not really what attracted her much as a career option. She had already sent a letter to Professor McGonagall, who was going to be the Headmistress of Hogwarts with the start of new term, asking her to consider Hermione to return and proceed her education from where she had left off. Meanwhile the boys had sent their letters confirming they would not be returning to school.

So, Harry and Ron were really looking forward to the proffered training, and graciously accepted the offers by sending their acknowledgements and filling out the necessary application forms. The training was to commence in the second week of August (still almost a month and a half away). On the other hand, according to his letters, Neville had enrolled himself to study Herbology at a higher level, which would involve quite some travelling in the second year, but for the first one he was going to be in England with his Grandmother.

By the looks of other news they managed to gather, all the seventh year students whose final year of education was completely disrupted by the ongoing war, were given exemptions in their NEWT scores to pursue the higher level of courses or the jobs they wished to train for. Many of them however, like the Patil twins, Anthony Goldstein, Terry Boot, Ernie Macmillan, Susan Bones and a few more had opted to repeat their seventh year and take their NEWTs. 

To sum up, things had started to look up from here, till this morning, when a Hogwarts owl arrived at the Burrow during breakfast, carrying a letter for Ginny. It announced she was expected to be joining the next and her final year at Hogwarts on 1st of September like every year, with the list of necessities for her next year and a shining scarlet badge with a note attached to it that proclaimed that she has been selected as the Captain for Gryffindor’s Quidditch Team.

Mr. and Mrs. Weasley seemed quite thrilled by the news, as to them, it was one of the very few _normal and actually joyous _things to have happened lately. They had already started to fuss over everything that was needed to be done prior to her return (buying her a new broomstick topped the list), before they realized that they still had almost two months to do all that.

Ginny however, as Harry noticed, did not look so happy about the whole thing. She looked like a new unpleasant information, that she had been dreading but not wanting in the least, has been thrust upon her.

Harry did not know what exactly about this was bothering Ginny, but he himself could not manage to be pleased with the idea of Ginny going back to Hogwarts in just two months, as it would mean he would no longer be seeing her around. Though he had not admitted it to anyone but, the best part of his days recently had been when Ginny brought him tea and snacks to his and Ron’s bedroom every evening. Every evening he thought of pulling her to sit beside him on his bed and talk to her for hours (and maybe do some other things on the few occasions that Ron wasn’t in the room), but every single evening, all he could manage was a feeble “Thanks Ginny” and a smile before she left the room. She used to smile in return and that would be it. It never went to anything more than that, but even that small piece of interaction acted as a huge source of comfort for Harry, lifting the daunting weight off his shoulders, one bit each day.

The way Ginny smiled at him every evening, also made Harry rethink about the possibility of her holding him responsible for all the deaths in the battle, and with every day the answer moved slightly closer to “No” and that inexplicably relieved Harry. And now in merely 2 months, she would be going away.

No matter how hard Harry tried to convince himself that it was good for her, not to mention quite necessary, or how genuinely happy he was on her making it as the captain of Gryffindor’s Quidditch team, he could not bring himself to make peace with the idea of her leaving. He knew it was selfish, but the man deserved one moment of selfishness and of course there was also the fact that Ginny herself did not look too thrilled about going back.

Once again, he had locked himself in the solitude of his room.

That evening, Ginny did not come to him with his tea and Harry could feel his heart sinking to the pit of his stomach.

At half past seven, he dragged himself downstairs for dinner where he found Hermione, who had also received her Hogwarts letter along with the Head Girl badge, had joined them for dinner tonight. She was excitedly talking about her next year at Hogwarts, her upcoming responsibilities as the Head Girl, about her and Ginny going to be classmates and dorm mates and all the career options she had in mind to pursue after Hogwarts. Throughout her chattering, Ron looked at Hermione with such intense affection and focus, it seemed like she was the only person in the room, or the only one that mattered.

Harry shoved his dinner down his throat as quickly as he could while stealing glances at Ginny who had a strained smile plastered on her face throughout Hermione’s rambling. He was the first one to leave the table, as he could not bear to listen to anymore of the aforementioned rambling, neither could he bear to look anymore at a lovestruck Ron while the person he wanted to be looking at him with the same affection and admiration did not seem to care to throw even one careless glance at towards him.

Harry drifted off to sleep with nothing but Ginny, and how she had drifted apart from him, in mind. Merely two hours later though, he was wide awake, horror struck, panting like he had been running for hours and drenched in sweat as he recollected the glimpses from his recent nightmare.

A bunch of deatheaters had surrounded Ginny in the same clearing of the Forbidden Forest where he was hit by the killing curse, one by one torturing her. He couldn’t remember much of it except the yelling of curses and painful screams piercing through the skies and then the scene had dissolved into the battleground at Hogwarts.

Ginny was dueling Bellatrix Lestrange. She was somehow holding Bellatrix and dodging her curses but Bellatrix was undeniably more powerful and was dominating the duel. Harry ran towards Ginny to help her, but somehow, no matter how much or how fast he ran he couldn’t get even an inch closer to her. And then, a flash of green light soared across his eyes and the next thing he saw was Ginny’s cold body lying on the floor, eyes wide open gazing into darkness and body stiff as a rock.

Harry sat at the edge of his bed, clutching his chest over his heart which was threating to break from his chest. He tried to soothe his breathing but could not get rid of the horrible feeling that was burning his insides.

Harry has had been having nightmares from the battle and his encounter with Voldemort in the forest almost every night now, but none of it had quite this impact on him, he was always able to put himself back to sleep in a couple hours or so. This time though, more than 3 hours had passed and he still sat with his head buried in his hands, pulling his hair, panting lightly and fighting back tears. He looked at Ron who hadn’t flinched a muscle in course of these three hours and was snoring in sound sleep.

Quietly, he rose from his bed, pocketed his wand and made his way out of the room towards the kitchen. Quite unexpectedly, he found himself looking at a messy bun of bright red hair and a back hunched over the kitchen table.

Harry made his way across the table to find a numb looking Ginny staring at the table with a mug of tea gripped so tightly between her palms, that her life seemed to be dependent on her grip.

Her cheeks were bright pink and her hair, although tied in a bun was windswept. Harry figured, she might have just gotten in from another round of flying.

One silent tear rolled down her right cheek and fell into the mug before her as Harry watched. He had to break the silence,

“Hey” he said softly, which made her jump and reach for her wand. At the sight of Harry, she quickly straightened up, placed her wand back in her pocket, wiped the single trail of tear from her face and lifted the mug to take a sip of the tea. Harry swiftly reached across the table held the mug by its rim which made her look up again

“Don’t drink this” Harry requested “Er….it’s gone cold, I’ll make you a fresh cup….I was..er… just going to make some for myself anyway” he quickly added.

Ginny let go off the mug and Harry drained the tea mixed with her tears into the sink, rinsed the mug and started filling the kettle, thinking about ways to start the conversation that would hopefully lead him to discover what was bothering Ginny about returning to Hogwarts.

“How have you been” he heard Ginny’s voice which brought him back to the kitchen and made him notice that he had filled the kettle with more water than required.

He drained the excess water and put the kettle over the stove to boil. He hesitated before answering her.

“Sorry, it was a stupid question” Ginny said as he turned to look at her. “Obviously you haven’t been feeling very good if you are down here at almost 4 in the morning” she continued, shaking her head lightly.

He gave her a faint smile “Just a nightmare” he said casually, not very keen on disclosing the details of his nightmare yet. “What brings _you_ here at this hour?”

Ginny shrugged and said “Couldn’t sleep” like that was the most normal thing in the world.

Harry didn’t know what to say, so he turned back to the tea kettle.

“You excited about your Auror training?” Ginny prodded and Harry was grateful as he didn’t have to think about ways to continue the conversation and fail miserably at it.

He looked back over his shoulder “I guess. Yeah. Would be a good change to be doing something I have actually wanted to do since a long time. And frankly, it would be quite satisfying to be hunting down the deatheaters who are still at lose.” He turned his whole body back and saw Ginny nodding.

“Yeah, I reckon it would be” she agreed.

“Are you excited about Hogwarts?” Harry asked trying hard not a let his own uneasiness with the fact, reflect in his voice.

Ginny’s body stiffened and she looked away.

Harry reached the table in two long strides and sat across her.

“Ginny, I know it’s bothering you, I don’t know why and I know you wouldn’t say anything to your family because they are all excited about it, but you…. you can tell me.” Harry swallowed, carefully studying Ginny’s face.

She looked back at him, shook her head and waved a dismissive hand at him “It’s nothing, really”.

Harry sighed, he knew very well that she was too stubborn and too proud to show any kind of weakness so easily. He had to give her something in exchange to let her open up to him.

He took a deep breath and started “You know, I…uh…I have been having these recurring nightmares ever since we got here…..and I don’t know how I am going to cope up with the extensive Auror training when I have been feeling so weak and helpless every night with the….” he gulped in hesitancy to go forward, but he glanced at Ginny’s face, taking in every word he said so intently that it made him blurt out “I can’t live with this guilt Ginny. Nobody should have died, not on my account.”

It was a little more than he had planned on revealing, but there it was now, out in the open and surprisingly, it felt nice to say it out loud to someone after weeks of suppressing and shoving it in into an abyss that he created deep in his chest. 

“Harry” Ginny sighed leaning forward, her gaze never leaving his “no body died on your account”.

Harry opened his mouth to protest but Ginny cut him off “People weren’t just fighting for you, they were fighting for a better world. _You_ actually _saved_ thousands of lives. And those who couldn’t make it through the war, they departed knowing that even if they would not be around to experience this new world, their loved ones would live and thrive in a world free of hatred and evil. Well, not completely free of evil, that would leave nothing for you Aurors to deal with” she let out a feeble huff of amusement but immediately recollected her serious demeanor.

“The point is, they would not have given up the chance to get rid of Voldemort for anything, not even their own lives.

Everyone who fought there, fought for a cause and they achieved it, because of _you_. So, don’t you dare sit around feeling guilty for reasons that have nothing to do with you.”

“But Ginny…” Harry tried to counter “Fred-“, but he was again interrupted as soon as he started.

“Fred fought like the brave soul he is….he was” Ginny amended blinking rapidly. “He was fully aware of what it could lead to, so were Remus, Tonks and Collin and everyone else. I wish they were alive more than anything else but that _does not_ mean that I or anyone here would blame _you_ for these deaths. There is only one person to be blamed and he is dead, thanks to you.” Ginny arched her eyebrows and gave him an encouraging smile.

When Harry still looked unconvinced, she added a little irritably “Harry, stop being a prat now. How long are you going to beat yourself up for something you had no control over? You barely get out of your room, barely talk to anyone. Don’t get me wrong, we all respect your need for privacy but it has got us all worried. And now you are even doubting whether you will be good Auror. I mean that’s crazy. Isn’t this what you have always wanted to do? And I know for a fact that you are going to be amazing.

All you need to do is brush this stupid guilt off of you, and maybe tone down your nobility a bit, that is the reason building up this guilt in the first place and if you don’t think that being an Auror is what you really want to do, then just….don’t do it. Take your time to figure things out, there is absolutely no rush Harry.”

She patted the back of Harry’s hand and he looked up at her. She gave him a warm smile.

“Don’t make me hex you into seeing reason and logic” she added, still smiling.

Harry couldn’t help but smile too. He had just caught a glimpse of his old Ginny, the feisty, bold Ginny who wasn’t afraid of being blunt or even threatening when someone deserved it for being a git and he _was_ being a git, he had been for weeks now, he thought and immediately felt sorry for shutting himself away from everyone.

“Alright” he whispered “then you too have to let someone through those walls you have enclosed yourself in”.

Ginny’s smile faded, she retreated her hand that had patted Harry’s, and her fingers curled into a loose fist on the table.

“I am not a fool Ginny,” Harry insisted “nor are your brothers or your parents or Hermione. You have built this strong, unyielding façade, you are keeping yourself busy, not letting emotions get the better of you, but no matter how much you smile throughout the day, we know you are hurting. And it’s not the worst thing to let some of it out” he sighed before going further.

“I know that going to Hogwarts is not something you are thrilled about and…..just know that….you can talk to me…..if you want.”

Ginny had not looked at Harry once throughout his monologue, her gaze adamantly fixed on her curled up fingers. She tried to blink away the prickling at the back of her eyes.

The tea kettle gave out a loud shriek which made them both jump about a meter in the air.

Harry turned the stove off with his wand and reached for her hand on the table.

“Gin” he sighed, and that did the job. Ginny had always had trouble not melting down when her called her ‘Gin’.

“I don’t want to go” she finally confessed in a broken voice. With a deep breath she continued “How can I go back there, after all that has happened in that castle? After all those deaths-“ she inhaled again, her breath shuddering. Harry got up and sat beside her rubbing his palm up and down her forearm over the sleeve of her flannel dressing gown.

“Hey” he addressed her softly, but couldn’t proceed further when Ginny turned to face him with eyes brimming with tears.

“I lost my brother to the walls of that castle, you know” she said, now openly crying.

As downcast as Harry felt at the moment, he couldn’t help but notice how close they were, closer than they had been in what seemed like a lifetime.

“Do you think I’ll be able to get any food down my throat in the same hall where all those bodies lied- defeated.” Ginny sniffed. “I have been trying to hold everything in and be strong for my family, especially Mum and Dad and George but it’s just so hard. I tried distracting myself with all the chores around the house, but this is just not me. All this cooking and cleaning- it’s driving me insane. But I keep doing all this because my mother could use my company and my father doesn’t need to see me so vulnerable and broken and my brothers should not be forced into taking care of their little sister when they can barely handle themselves, but it’s…it’s just so hard Harry.”

By now her head was on his shoulder, his hands were wrapped around her, left hand stroking her back and the right one cupping the back of her head, his nostrils filled with her incredible, soothing, flowery scent.

“This letter from Hogwarts, it’s just another disaster” she pressed on in a muffled voice against Harry’s shoulder “I can’t muster the courage to set foot in that castle again, but what choice do I have? It makes my parents happy, so I _have_ to go, right? Even though all I really want to do is to lock myself up in some far, deserted corner of the world for days and just scream and cry my eyes out.”

With that she dissolved into muffled wails and Harry sat frozen with just his hands being able to make any movement at all. He had no idea how to respond. He wanted so bad to do something, anything, to make her feel better but didn’t know what it was. He would have ripped his heart out and offered it to her if that could make her feel even slightly better.

Finally, in desperation to offer anything at all and struggling for better words he said “It’s Ok, Ginny. It’s Ok to feel that way and nobody would blame you for it. You’ve been through so much, and it’s Ok to be emotional at times, you don’t have to push it down and wear a mask all the time.”

Harry hugged her tighter and Ginny hugged him back.

“I miss him so much” she whispered through her sobs “I can’t imagine what George must be going through. It must be hell for him. It just breaks me even more, merely thinking about it.”

She pulled back from him. By now, Harry was fighting back tears of his own.

She looked into his emerald eyes “I’m so glad you are back Harry” she muttered and her eyes dropped to his chest. She was staring at his T- shirt, but Harry knew she was staring into nothingness. Harry on the other hand was staring intently at her and he inexplicably felt extremely elated at her words, _she was glad he was back. _

_Well of course she would be. We were crazy about each other, at least we used to be- _Harry thought. He recalled her crying out his name when she thought he was dead and felt his stomach lurching.

Harry still was crazy about her, in fact, now he felt much more strongly for her. He could not quite put a finger on it but he knew that he felt something he has never felt for anyone before. He felt such affection and warmth and tenderness, with such intensity that he didn’t even know he was capable of. And it was gripping his insides, poking and twisting them, almost prodding him to let some kind of realization sink in. The dormant monster in his chest had come alive again, its claws furiously in action, trying to scratch through an invisible surface and raise its head to the rays of clarity.

While Harry was lost in his own musings, Ginny had another storm raging inside her head.

_What was she doing? For past 20 minutes she had been crying into Harry’s shoulder like her pathetic 11 years old self who needed to be rescued, needed to be consoled and supported. No wonder Harry thought of her only as some feeble, defenseless, weak, pathetic mess, something to be shielded._ _And worst of all,_ _did she really just tell him that she wanted to shut herself in a corner and cry her eyes out? WHY? _

His words from the Room of Requirements rang through her mind and enraged her to no limits. She immediately pulled herself further from Harry.

“I should go get some sleep” she said in a small voice and without even looking at him, she rose up from her chair and turned to head towards her room completely oblivious to the fact that Harry had just been leaning towards her to steal a kiss.

Harry just sat there in shock as she headed upstairs and stared at her back, trying to process what had just happened.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the an unplanned, unexpected session of bawling in Harry's arms, Ginny is thoroughly embarrassed, while the failed attempt at kissing Ginny has left Harry exceedingly self conscious.  
The weeks that follow are nothing but awkward.

Harry knew perfectly well that Ginny had no intention of hurting him by rejecting the kiss, she had no idea that he had wanted and tried to kiss her in the first place, heck, he had no idea himself, when exactly he had started to lean down towards her. But it didn’t make Harry feel any less embarrassed and rejected.

He felt like screaming into the night and throwing anything within reach to the opposite wall. Instead he settled for thumping his fist on the kitchen table in aggression.

Over the next few weeks, he was too embarrassed to look Ginny in the eye, and to his fortune or disappointment, he couldn’t quite decide, Ginny did not make any attempt at making eye contact with him either.

The one good thing he could think of that came out of that debacle, was that he _really_ pondered over his decision to undergo the Auror training, he questioned himself whether he was ready for this endeavor or was it too soon. Thankfully the answer was- Yes, he was ready. Ginny was right, he had to let go of his guilt and vulnerability and instead of dwelling in the past, he had to start taking his life ahead seriously.

To reduce his chances of embarrassing encounters with Ginny, Harry had started visiting Teddy and Andromeda every single day for a few hours and spending time with his Godson had been lifting his spirits like a charm.

Ginny herself felt highly embarrassed for her meltdown in front of Harry. Of course, having a shoulder to cry on and being held and consoled was undeniably comforting and to some extent liberating but why couldn’t it have been someone else, anyone but Harry.

On Harry’s birthday, they had a very awkward encounter when he was exiting the bathroom and she was about to enter.

She lamely asked him “Having a fun birthday?”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s fun” was his even lamer reply.

They awkwardly smiled at one another and then rushed past each other in opposite directions.

But even this couldn’t stop Harry from grinning fondly when he saw Ginny playing with little Teddy, bouncing him on her knees and sporting a genuine, hearty smile after weeks. He even caught a flicker of the spark in her chocolate brown eyes which had seemed to be missing lately. He couldn’t resist thinking that she looked extraordinarily cute when she wrinkled her nose as the baby wetted himself right on her lap and she reluctantly handed him back to Andromeda.

Surprisingly, Harry too had enjoyed a fair share of time with his Godson on his birthday, given how slim the chances of that happening were, as the baby was bounced and passed from one set of waiting arms to another while George continued to search for more relaxation at the bottom of an old Ogden’s bottle. Soon, this loud and boisterous group of people that he loved so much ad owed so much to will not be surrounding him 24 X 7.

Harry had made up his mind to move out of the Burrow as soon as he could as he had been finding it exceedingly difficult lately to be in the same room as Ginny without making any advances on her and confess his true feelings about her.

He and Ron had decided to move into Grimmauld Place, a couple of days before their training started and announced the same to the family on the night of his birthday after the guests had left.

But prior to the big announcement, it was time for some other slightly overwhelming disclosures as some of the guests like Hagrid, Kingsley, Luna, Neville, Andromeda and almost all the Weasleys decided to corner Harry, Ron and Hermione and made them recite the events of the 9 and a half months that they were in hiding.

Ginny listened intently while they recounted Harry’s lessons with Dumbledoor, the tales they had discovered from Voldemort’s youth, the Horcruxes (Harry shot a solicitous glance at Ginny when he revealed how Voldemort’s diary had been a Horcrux too) and how through the course of the previous year they hunted each one of them down and destroyed them. How Snape was actually innocent and had been playing a double agent on Dumbledoor’s orders while putting his life in grave danger and how his memories helped Harry find out that he himself was the last horcrux, and he had to sacrifice himself if Voldemort was to be killed. It was followed with Kingsley’s announcement that he would help Harry in every possible way to get Snape’s name clean in the wizarding world.

At the revelation of Riddle’s dairy containing a part of his soul, and not just his memories, Ginny felt as if she was whipped again, this time right on the chest over her heart.

_Of course, it carried his soul_, _merely memories could not possess and control her the way it did_, she thought, _how did she not deduce that years ago_.

But even more shocking was the fact, that Harry too had been one of the horcruxes, he too had unknowingly concealed a part of Voldemort’s soul within himself for all these years. Suddenly she felt unsettled like she was not completely satisfied with the gist of things and wanted to know the deeper facts. However, for now, she knew, she would to let her temptation go and let the summarized story that was recited suffice.

The announcement of Harry and Ron moving to Grimmauld Place was the third shocking blow Ginny received in one night. It wasn’t exactly the most exciting idea in the world as it meant she would lose opportunities to steal discreet glances at Harry. Even though she was avoiding eye contacts and interactions but it was always good to know that he was around and had even taken her advice of not shutting himself away.

Also, losing the comfort of Ron parading around, making her laugh and strangely taking out more time to hover around her once Hermione moved with her parents, was not something to be thrilled about. She did sometimes pretend to be mildly annoyed by his constant presence but secretly she was more grateful than she could express that Ron was doing everything he could to keep close to her, look out for her.

Knowing perfectly well that she couldn’t voice these feelings to either her brother or Harry, she swallowed her disappointment down and pretended to be happy about the new phase of their lives.

Again, this did not go down well with Harry who had expected a little sadness from her about him moving out.

In her short but significant appearances at the Burrow, Hermione had talked Ginny into going back to Hogwarts by saying things like “facing your fears is the only way to overcome them” and “experiences of past, no matter how daunting they were, should never be given the power to meddle with a good future, and _you_ of all people understand that very well Ginny”- things that only Hermione would have said.

Nonetheless, it did make Ginny feel less insecure about her return to Hogwarts and she had also started to plan what she was going to do once she was done with Hogwarts. The answer to that query was crystal clear in her mind, it had been for over two years- Quidditch. But now she was pondering over it more seriously than ever and although she would never admit it to Hermione but Quidditch and especially leading the Gryffindor Quidditch team was the prime temptation for her return to Hogwarts, and it was pretty strong a temptation considering the career path she had chosen for herself.

Meanwhile, Harry and Ron had been moving back and forth from Grimmauld Place having taken up the task to clean the old Black Family house to some degree of being livable before moving in.

After they had completely moved to 12, Grimmauld place, Harry and Ron did keep making appearances for Sunday meals, sometimes accompanied by Hermione and once when they didn’t have extensive studying to do, they stayed for the entire weekend.

Their first visit, however, had been on Ginny’s birthday but again Ginny and Harry’s short and crisp interaction was not something that could qualify as anything more than common courtesy.

Finally, 1st of September arrived and Ginny was all set to head to the Kings Cross Station when she found out that it would be Ron, George and Harry escorting her and Hermione. She was beyond glad that George was trying to get out of his shell, but seeing Harry right before boarding the Hogwarts Express was worrying her. Of course, she more than liked the idea of meeting him one last time before she left but she feared she might do something stupid.

Harry had agreed to Ron’s offer of seeing Hermione off at Kings Cross but to be completely truthful, it was Ginny that he wanted see for the last time before they parted again for months.

Hermione had joined them at Grimmauld Place the night before, and together the three best friends were to go to the Burrow to get Ginny and George.

The group of five stood at platform 9 ¾ with the scarlet engine releasing thick grey smoke into the air beside them. Ron, Harry and George had already settled the girl’s luggage in a compartment they had selected and they all were now standing at the platform, chatting as there were still a few minutes left for the train to depart.

Ron and Hermione were finding it extremely difficult to say goodbye and were bestowing each other with kisses every chance they got, much to Harry’s dismay, who shifted about 10 feet away from the couple. He was undoubtedly happy that his two best friends had finally got together after years of wrestling with their feelings for one another, but he was not particularly a fan of seeing them illustrating their affection. 

Finally, it was George who called them out “Ugh you two, get a room”.

They broke apart and chuckled. Even Ginny let out an amused snort, but, as Harry could see even from 10 feet distance, the amusement never reached her eyes.

The train gave a whistle and Ginny and Hermione said their final goodbyes to the boys. After Ginny hugged Ron her gaze travelled to Harry who gave her a forced smile, a stiff nod and waved his hand equally stiffly. Ginny couldn’t think of doing anything in response but smile and mouth “Bye”.

Hermione reached over to hug Harry goodbye and seconds later she was already entering the train when Ginny hugged George and whispered “I can’t tell you how happy I am that you came” in his ear.

George kissed the top of her head and she turned to board the train. Harry heaved a sigh and shoved his hands into his pockets.

_This is it_. _No more Ginny till December_.

As soon as Ginny reached the door, she stopped and turned to look at Harry as if she had heard him thinking about her, one hand still on the frame of the door.

Harry was immediately alert, more alert than he had been all morning. This was not something he had expected in the least. He had a strange feeling that there was something she wanted to say to him but not a single word escaped her lips.

He studied her face trying to decipher the look on it.

There was so much pain and anguish in her beautiful brown eyes that it made him want to run to her and wrap her in his arms and never let her go. But somehow his mind and body didn’t seem to be in sync with each other, his feet remained pinned under her gaze. He stood rooted on the spot studying her expression, as there was so much more in it.

_Or was he just imagining it? Was it really longing and anticipation and maybe even disbelief and…..was it…..love? He couldn’t let himself believe it. Did he really see all those emotions on that heavenly face? He did. It could not have just been his imagination._

They must have been staring at each other for a full minute when another and this time final whistle from the train pulled them back to their surroundings.

“Ginny, get inside the damn train” bellowed Ron and she quickly tore her eyes away from Harry and turned to climb up the stairs into the train.

Harry was still frozen as he saw her flaming red hair, then her back and hip and the tip of her shoes disappear.

The next second, the train had finally started moving and so had Harry. He was striding with long, fast steps towards the door behind which Ginny had just disappeared but the door kept moving further away from him.

When he got quite close to the train, he felt himself being pulled back with great force.

Up until now, he knew nothing but the fact that he had to get inside the train and find Ginny. Now, all that ran through his mind was Ron’s and George’s yelling.

“Have you lost your mind?” he heard Ron.

“You could have got seriously hurt.” this was George.

“Savior of the wizarding world, killed by getting pulled under the wheels of a fucking train. Imagine that.” Ron yelled again.

“What were you trying to do mate?” George asked in a lower but baffled voice.

“I-“ _have to get to Ginny, _was what Harry wanted to say but ended up saying “I don’t know, let’s just go home” instead.

Ron and George exchanged confused looks and then nodded at him.

_What was that? _ A voice inside Ginny’s head screamed at her.

_What the hell were you playing at? What were you expecting, that he would come running and embrace you? What did you get- a confused, completely bewildered look, is that what you were going for?_

No, it wasn’t what Ginny was going for. Actually, she had no clue what she was going for or why did she stop before boarding. Even if she did stop, why did she had to turn and seriously, there was absolutely no need of that intense staring.

As if to counter her own self, but more to forge a false sense of comfort another voice in her head countered- _I thought I heard him say my name._

But he hadn’t. Harry hadn’t said her name. He had just looked at her with his mouth agape and his eyebrows furrowed like he was trying to solve a ridiculously complicated riddle.

This was what she was afraid of since morning. She was afraid she might do something stupid with Harry at the station, and there, she had done it. Something stupid. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is busy pining over Ginny after she has left for Hogwarts. This doesn't go unnoticed by Ron, who decides it was time something was done about it.

Almost a fortnight had passed since Harry had been at the Kings Cross Station. Harry was sitting at the dinner table, staring at the steak plated in front of him, playing with his fork.

Over the last 12 days, all he had thought about was the look Ginny had given him before boarding the train. No matter how hard he tried pushing it out of his tired mind, it always came back to haunt him. He had somehow managed to keep himself focused on nothing but the present while he was at the training, but every other minute of his time was spent going over and over that look, trying to penetrate deeper into its meaning and figuring out whether he had only imagined all of that, whether he was overthinking or that really was what he saw.

On top of that, the nightmares from the battle were still tormenting him, but Harry had started to get a grip over himself. Usually he could manage to calm himself down, treat himself with some warm milk or tea and go back to sleep after having a nightmare unless it involved Ginny- Ginny dying, to be specific. It was much harder to sleep after witnessing something like that even if in a dream and it made him want to see his ex- girlfriend so bad that he felt breathless at times.

“Are you going to keep pining over my sister or you’re going to do something about it?”

It was Ron’s voice that pulled him out of his musings.

Harry was startled by this sudden confrontation.

“Wh…what?” he stuttered “What pining? I am not pining over anyone.”

Ron had the same smug look that Harry had spotted countless times on Hermione’s face in his sixth year.

_Have they adopted the same mannerisms now that they are officially a couple?_

He started cutting himself a piece of steak that was lying in front of him, not because he suddenly had the urge to eat it but only to have something to look at other than Ron.

Ron was in no mood to let this go so easily.

“Look mate, I know I’ve not exactly been the most supportive of you two as a couple in the past but I have always known that I’d rather have you than any other bloke with my sister. And if that’s what you both want….”

“I don’t know what she wants” snapped Harry. “I mean I don’t know what you’re talking about” he quickly added, shedding the hint of annoyance from his voice and trying to sound nonchalant as heat rushed up his cheeks.

Ron’s lips twitched up into a knowing smirk “Come on Harry, I’m not really as dense as Hermione claims I am. I have been watching you all summer, all the time you didn’t spend sulking around in our room, feeling guilty for nonexistent reasons, you spent ogling at my sister. You should in fact be bloody grateful that I am not taking offence at that and trying to be supportive instead.” Ron said pointing his fork threateningly at Harry and arching his eyebrows.

“But that can only happen if you open up and let me help you” he went on.

Ron knew, if there was someone who deserved a break and to be happy, it was the man sitting across him. After lending him a hand to help carry the weight of the world on his shoulders for last seven years, it was time, Ron lent him a hand to pull him back on his feet and help him head to the path his true happiness lied.

Harry risked a nervous glance at his best friend.

“I do miss her……a lot” he finally confessed.

Ron smile was less teasing this time as he said “Good. Because I know for a fact that she misses you too. But mind you Potter, I am not going to let you mess up with her feelings again.”

“I never intended to mess……wait, what did you say?”

Ron’s words had taken a few moments to register in Harry’s brain. In his defense, it was really exhausted overthinking and shaking off nightmares.

“You know for a fact that she misses me? How do you know? How are you so sure? Did she say something to you?” Harry asked flustered but excited.

“Well she didn’t really say anything to me- or to anyone, I reckon. You know Ginny. She is not exactly the kind who would ramble about this touchy -feely stuff to people especially to one of her brothers. But I have seen the way she looked at you every chance she got over the summer. It was really annoying whenever she would completely phase out watching you and not listen to a word I was saying, but yeah, I guess that was my clue. And then there was that look she gave you right before she boarded the Hogwarts Express, that got me-”

“You saw that too-“ Ron was again cut off by Harry who apparently had tossed nonchalance out the window. “So, it was not just a figment of my imagination? Ok, what do you mean ‘the look’? What did you gather from that? Do you think it had some deeper meaning? What exactly was it? I have been thinking about it ever since we left the station and I still can’t figure it out.”

Ron blinked at Harry, baffled by this pile of questions shot at him, but managed to compose himself in seconds.

“Yeah- I mean, I couldn’t really see her face as clearly from that angle, as you did, but I know it did mean _something_ and something positive, I reckon.”

Harry released a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

However, Ron didn’t seem to have been finished as he pressed on “I thought you would say something to her before she left. You made me lose the bet against Hermione.”

“You two have been betting about us?” Harry asked wide eyed and exasperated.

Ron chose to ignore this and continued voicing the train of his thoughts-

“I had my fingers crossed, up until she boarded the train. I thought the least I would get from you two was a proper goodbye, and I’m sure waving stiffly from 10 feet distance doesn’t count as one.

Of course, then you started pacing towards a running train like a total maniac but by then, I had already lost hadn’t I.”

Harry had been listening to all this with his jaw dropped to his lap.

_If Ron was so keen on having his best friend and his sister happily reunited, why didn’t he fucking say something?_

“Wha….” Harry inhaled a deep, shuddering breath and ran a hand over his face. “What do I do now Ron? Why didn’t you say something over the summer?”

“Believe me, I had to muster tones of self- control to keep myself from meddling. But Hermione kept saying that this was something you two should be figuring out yourselves and that you should be given all the time you needed for that” Ron huffed like those were the most ridiculous things he had ever heard.

“I still wanted to talk to you about it, but then Hermione warned me that if I meddled in any possible way, I would lose the bet right then, and I didn’t want to lose, Harry. I had a Galleon and five Knuts at stake.” Ron shot an apologetic look at Harry who looked annoyed beyond belief.

“Hey, hey, hey, before you lash out on me, I want you to know that I am ready to meddle now, no matter what Hermione says, and since, I have already lost the bet, I don’t think it could hurt.” Ron looked at Harry hopefully, with an apologetic smile on his face attempting to undo the damage.

Harry sighed “I guess Hermione’s right though. Ginny should be given time to figure out what she wants without being prodded to jump to any conclusions. She has been through a lot. The last thing she needs is to be pressurized into a relationship” he said thoughtfully, wondering (not for the first time) how she must be coping with being back at Hogwarts.

Ron wasn’t convinced.

“Ginny is a tough girl Harry, I know that she has been through hell, but she will get over that. She is not one to stop living because of tragedies of the past. Remember, after all that happened to her in her very first year, she came back and she never lost her humility or her kindness or her humor or ferocity. Those horrors could not change her. How many 11 years old girls could have endured that and still sustain their true selves? Most would have turned into some silent, brooding loner but not out our Ginners.”

There was a sense of immense pride in Ron’s voice that Harry had never spotted there before. But he realized how proud he himself was of this strong, resolute, unwavering young woman. This was one of the prime reasons that had got him totally entranced by her.

“Now don’t tell me, you are not even going to talk to her” Ron went on.

“She is miles away in Hogwarts Ron, I _can’t_ talk to her.” Harry countered.

“But you can write to her.” Ron suggested.

Harry looked up again, trying to figure out what Ron was really up to.

“Look, I am not saying, you need to confess your feelings right away, I’m just saying you could try to cut this tension you both have built between yourselves, Merlin knows why. And I don’t see how could it hurt taking a few friendly baby steps towards what you really want. I’m sure it’s going to be better for both of you than torturing yourselves.”

Ron did make sense. Of course, Harry could write to Ginny, of course they could be friends. They were friends before they were a couple after all, and he didn’t need to be reminded how easy being around Ginny and talking to her was. Suddenly Harry could find no excuses to hold himself back from talking to Ginny or for the time being, write to her.

“Yeah I guess, I could do that” he finally addressed Ron’s suggestion, still pondering over it. Writing to Ginny seemed to be an even better option than talking at the moment, as it would not require eye contact, which Harry was still slightly embarrassed to make with Ginny, and yet he could converse with her freely.

Ron gave him a crooked smile.

“Good” he said. “It would be a good change not looking at you being a miserable lovestruck idiot.”

Harry’s face reddened and he looked back at his dinner, surprised to find an appetite building now.

“Would master Harry like to have something else for dinner, a casserole perhaps?”

Both Harry and Ron jumped at Kreacher’s croaky voice, for neither of them had noticed the elf enter the kitchen.

Harry hastily composed himself “No, thanks Kreacher. I’ll just finish my steak and head to my room. I….er…I have a very important letter to write” he couldn’t resist grinning as he thought of writing to Ginny, which earned him an immediate snap from Ron.

“Wipe that idiotic sappy grin off your face. Don’t make me regret my advice.”

20 minutes later, Harry was in his bedroom pulling drawers of his desk and reaching for parchment, quill and bottle of ink.

His heart was thrumming against his chest, nervousness and excitement gushing through his veins as he thought about where to start and what all to write.

Even if it was through parchment and quill, this was the first real conversation Harry was going to have with Ginny in about 3 months since that embarrassing night in the Burrow’s kitchen. He did not want to mess it up at any cost.

Finally, making up his mind on how he would like to start this conversation, he dropped the tip of his quill on the parchment laid neatly on his desk.

“Dear Ginny…..”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione decides it was time to confront Ginny and give her a little nudge for some confessions. The confessions that follow are not exactly what Hermione had been expecting.

A fortnight after the new term had started, Ginny was beginning to get comfortable with the castle that she didn’t want to set foot in, until about a month ago. It was a gradual and difficult process, so she had to throw herself into studies and wait for the right time when she could throw herself into Quidditch. Of course, the large pile of homework dumped on them every day now that they were NEWT level students was a huge help in the ‘throwing herself into studies’ part.

She had scheduled the trials for the next weekend and was going through the strategy for the trials and exactly what she was going to be looking for in her team, over and over in her mind, whenever she was alone.

Right now, she was sitting cross legged on the rug in front of the fireplace in Gryffindor Common Room, playing with the end of her loose braid and trying to concentrate on the complicated astronomy charts laid across her lap.

When Hermione opened her mouth looking at Ginny and closed it with a sigh for the third time, Ginny’s patience was up.

“What is it Hermione?” demanded Ginny deciding that she did want to know what was on Hermione’s mind and that the latter could probably use a little nudge.

Letting out another dramatic sigh Hermione began “Well….I don’t know if it is my place to ask you this, I have been trying to let you be and figure things out on your own, but now, it’s been ridiculously long and I feel some confrontation would be good for you.”

Ginny eyed her friend with uncertainty before inquiring “Fine….confrontation about what?”

“About your feelings for Harry. I know you still have feelings for him, there is no point denying it” Hermione said a bit too sternly when Ginny’s lips parted to protest at the very first part of her confrontation.

“I saw the way you looked at him during summer and I have even heard you mumbling his name in your sleep for a few nights now.” She finished with an annoyingly triumphant look on her face.

Hermione was being very careful not to bring up the bet between him Ron and her. Plus, since, it was Ron’s stupid idea anyway and she had only agreed to keep Ron from meddling and doing something big brother-y that could completely blow up an already complicated equation, she didn’t think it was important to mention it and suffer to be at the receiving end of the youngest but most quick tempered Weasley’s wrath. To be completely honest, although, she knew would be winning the bet, having observed both Harry and Ginny’s emotional, human sides more closely than Ron over the years, but she secretly kept wishing for Ron to win. 

Ginny knew Hermione would not let it go without an answer.

“I have only been mumbling his name because now that I have finally been able to enjoy a few hours of slumber, it has been bringing some…vague….nightmares of Harry…..dying” Those last two words were too hard to utter in the same sentence. It was harrowing, to wake up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat, panting heavily and having mental images that she would never have wanted to witness in her life, running though her mind over and over again. But the upside was, that before the torture started she could at least get a couple hours of sleep now a days as opposed to almost the entire last year. She let out a shuddering breath.

“You know, we wouldn’t be having this discussion if I could just stay up all night like before. Stupid feather soft, ultra- comfy quilts of Hogwarts” she scoffed in agitation throwing her hands on her sides.

Hermione smirked “So you do accept you have strong feelings for Harry, so much so that his fake death has disturbed you as much to give you nightmares?”

Ginny looked up and deciding that honesty was probably the best policy with Hermione, she said “OK, yeah, I have feelings for Harry, so what?”

“Then why haven’t you done anything about it yet? I mean, when I visited your place on your and Harry’s birthdays, I swear, it looked like you were doing your best to avoid him. Isn’t that the opposite of what you do with a person you fancy?”

_Fancy- what an understatement _thought Ginny.

It sometimes scared her how strongly she felt for Harry, how much power he held over heart. That kind of vulnerability had landed her in a near death, heart shattering situation before, and she didn’t want it to get hold of her again.

But somehow, when it came to Harry, the vulnerability did exist, and she did still despise it, but much lesser than she would expect. Because, it wasn’t Riddle, it was Harry, who was as different from Riddle as any two people could possibly be, Harry, who wouldn’t even dream of manipulating someone and exploit his power over someone the way Riddle did -more than once.

With no intention to bring up the fiasco that was the night of heartfelt confessions and embarrassing meltdowns – perfect ingredients for the carefully strategized game of hide and seek that followed, Ginny began-

“Look Hermione, we are both in very difficult places right now, especially Harry. He has already been beating himself up, blaming himself for everything and every death. I can’t go on and impose myself up on him. I mean I have absolutely no idea what he wants. Does he want me around again? How would I know, when all he did most of the summer was shut himself out? And I should respect his need for space and time, shouldn’t I? I mean he ditched me for the sake of my safety, this is the least I can do for him.”

Hermione smiled kindly at her and held her hand “Ginny, Harry would have been back with you in a heartbeat. Maybe he is confused himself, maybe he too is trying to figure the same doubts about you. But if he had the faintest idea about how you feel- look, I am a hundred percent certain he still feels for you too. You were not the only one stealing not- so- cleverly disguised glances at the other you know.”

Ginny could practically feel the excruciatingly firm grip on her heart loosening. Even the slightest possibility of Harry still being romantically interested in her was extremely relieving. But she couldn’t lie to herself. She knew that even if Harry _himself_ gave more distinct signs of being ready to pursue a relationship with her, there would still be things holding her back. Sure, she would always be there to support and console him, to draw him out of the fog of self- doubt and guilt, but romance was something she could not bring herself to be thinking of at the moment and right then she realized she couldn’t lie to Hermione either.

She swallowed “Well that’s all really good to hear Hermione, but, um- how Harry feels about me is not the only contributing factor.”

“What is the other factor?”

“It’s factor_s _actually. If Harry _is_ in fact still interested in me, I’m sure he wants to be back with the girl he dated a year and a half ago and I’m not sure I’m that girl anymore. The war- it has changed me.”

“It has changed all of us Ginny.”

“I know. I mean- my mind is so messed up right now. I don’t even know _what_ I want to feel anymore and it gets all the more confusing when it comes to Harry. The one thing that I know for sure is that I am completely broken right now and that’s not what Harry needs. He needs someone whole.”

_Someone who doesn’t try to cheer him up and end up being consoled by him instead._

Hermione just stared at her for a few seconds before Ginny prodded her to say something.

“Wow” Hermione let out a tired breath. “I thought, Harry was the only noble prat but I was wrong, you both are. Oh, you are so made for each other” she grinned.

Ginny snorted in fake annoyance, although the ‘made for each other’ bit did made her heart flutter for one tiny moment.

Ignoring Hermione’s teasing, she pressed on “There’s more, but you would think I’m just being moronic.”

“Well, I have been thinking the same until now, so you might as well just spill the entire thing.”

“I…” Ginny exhaled, “it’s just that the mere idea of being back together with Harry sets my heart soaring. It just makes me so inexplicably happy, I can literally feel my chest swelling.

But then, every single time, I am immediately flooded with another, much stronger feeling- of guilt. I feel so guilty of being happy, when it’s not even been six months since my brother died. Not even six months since Teddy was orphaned, since all those other-“ her voice tailed away. She blinked rapidly and hung her head back.

She was thankful that Hermione gave her a few seconds to recover herself before she faced her again and with a deep breath, she continued “People are still grieving and mourning, I still don’t have the courage to look George in the eye for any more than 5 seconds. Thinking about a happy, cheerful life right now seems incredibly selfish” her voice was thick from suppressing the lump in her throat.

“I know it’s not healthy and I have to get past this phase, and I will, soon, I promise” she wasn’t lying. She was amazed how much getting away from home had affected her, in all good ways. First of all, she could sleep better now. Secondly, reuniting with the friends who had co survived the battle had made her appreciate what she still had, more than regret what she had lost.

Back at home, she related everything and everyone to Fred’s memories and it was torturous. Now, she had things to look forward to, things to genuinely enjoy unlike the domestic chores, and the guilt of being anything close to cheerful had not completely vanished but was definitely phasing out.

She further pressed on “But, till I do, I don’t think Harry needs to be with someone who feels guilty about being with him.”

_Even if it means that he finds someone else by the time you are done being an emotional wreck, someone who fulfils the criteria of being whole and being happy with him without a tinge of guilt- _it was that screaming voice again.

_Don’t go there yet. We’ll cross that bridge if and when it comes- _the other voice countered.

Hermione’s face looked worse when Ginny finished this time. It wasn’t cheeky or smug, it was sympathetic. She leaned forward and rubbed Ginny’s forearm.

“Hey, I don’t think that’s moronic at all and you know what, it will get better.”

She looked out the window before going further.

“I would be lying if I said Ron didn’t have these moments too, even if he would never tell me. But, I guess things affect everyone on different levels.” Her voice was slow and soothing, like she was talking to someone on their death bed.

“Hey, don’t feel so bad for me. So what if I can’t be with Harry, I have you-“ Ginny flashed a grin at her friend, her closest confidant “-I love you” she batted her eyelashes.

“As much as Harry?” asked Hermione in mock apprehension.

“My darling, you underestimate yourself” Ginny teased back. “In fact, you know what, screw Harry. I don’t need the bloke who dumped me, and disappeared on me for months” Ginny smiled trying to look like she meant what she said.

“Oh Ginny-“ Hermione now looked downright insufferable with those empathic contours on her face. Ginny hated as much as she admired her ability to see right through her when her head wasn’t buried in a book.

“Ok fine, maybe I do need him a little bit.” Ginny rolled her eyes. “But does that mean he needs me too? I mean when has he ever needed me with more than half the wizarding world at his back” it was painful to think about this, even more to voice it out. But it was true nevertheless.

Harry had never deemed her worthy to share any vital piece of information with her ever. During the battle he had proved that he had no confidence in her and even over the summer, he showed no sign of needing to open up about his traumas to her except that one fateful night in the kitchen of her home, which was more of an unplanned, unwanted slip in the heat of the moment, Ginny had deduced, going by the following few weeks when he avoided her as resolutely as she avoided him.

“My darling, you underestimate yourself” she heard Hermione retorting using her own reassurance form moments ago, but Hermione’s tone, unlike hers, had not been a teasing one.

Hermione shifted to her side and slipped her arms around Ginny’s shoulder, and as much as Ginny would have hated to admit it, she did need a warm consoling hug at the moment.

“Maybe” she said “but it doesn’t make me any less angry about the ditching and the complete disappearance.” She felt Hermione nodding against her shoulder in response, she tilted her head to meet Hermione’s, wondering when would she be able to allow herself to be truly happy, if any happiness at all was in store for her. Little did she know, a ministry owl was on its way with the first step towards her happiness, tied to its claw.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry's letter brings unadulterated joy that Ginny hasn't experienced in months.

The morning sky was clear and the sun that had finally come out after four days of continuous raining, was imparting a radiant glow to everything its rays touched, the day after Ginny and Hermione had the little confrontation cum counselling session.

The girls sat in the Great Hall enjoying Saturday breakfast along with Luna, who frequently joined them on the Gryffindor table to have her meals.

Hermione was shuffling through the morning’s Prophet, and Luna was buried in an article on something called ‘Fligit Pilicies’ in The Quibler, while Ginny was going through a letter from her mother, reading every sentence twice to soak in the information it held.

She was relieved to find that George had finally decided to come out of his solitude and was back on the Weasley Wizard Wheezes, preparing to reopen the shop for sale. He had started moving his belongings from the Burrow to his flat above the shop in bits.

Her mother was a little upset that the nest was going to be empty, now that all her kids would be out, but she and her father were happy that things were moving back to normal now, and all their children were moving forward.

“Oh great, Dad managed to procure some slime from one of the Fligit Plicies on his trip to the Greek Isles” announced Luna in her usual dreamy, sing song voice.

“That’s nice, so, what are they like” asked Ginny, fully aware that these Fligity things were probably not real.

“Oh, they are small slimy worm like creatures, found in the rocks by the Mediterranean Sea. There saliva can be mildly poisonous so you have to be careful not to get bitten, but their slime has magical medicinal properties, particularly effective for magical burns” Luna filled in excitedly.

Hermione looked up from her copy of the Daily Prophet “Sounds…er…..interesting Luna.”

Ginny stifled a grin “Well it’s certainly more interesting than what my Dad managed to procure- another Spark Plug.” Hermione put the paper down laughing, while Luna looked confused.

Just then a handsome brown owl landed on the table almost knocking over a bowl of porridge, which Ginny swiftly pulled out of the owl’s way. The owl turned to her and held out its claw to which a thick envelope was tied. Ginny leaned forward and started untying the envelope from the owl’s claw, surprised, as she had not been expecting any letters from anyone other than her mother for the day. As soon as she had got the envelop untied, the owl stretched its wings and took off leaving crumbs of bread swirling around on the table.

Hermione eyed Ginny who sat wide eyed and frozen as if too scared to make any movement.

“Ginny, what is it?”

“It’s-“ Ginny voice tailed away with a gulp.

Luna leaned over Ginny’s shoulder and peeped at the envelop Ginny was holding, “Oh it’s from Harry” she announced cheerfully.

Ginny looked up from the envelop at Hermione, completely lost for words.

Hermione simply beamed at her and clapped her hands in excitement “Come on open it” she urged.

“Uh…here?”

“Yeah, you are right, just go to the dormitory where you will get some privacy, I’m sure everyone will be out enjoying the weather. Luna and I will head to the library” Hermione answered thoughtfully.

“See you there later then” chimed Luna grabbing her bag and leaving her seat.

Ginny nodded at both the girls, got up from the table, clutching the letter close to her chest and sprinted off towards the Gryffindor girls’ dormitory.

All various possibilities of what this letter could be about, ran through her mind, each one making her more nervous than the other. She thought of how she must have scared Harry by staring at him for one full minute in front of her brothers before boarding the Hogwarts Express and the possibility of this letter being Harry’s warning for her to stay the hell away from him dawned on her. She felt her stomach squirming.

She finally got into her fortunately empty dorm room, jumped on her bed and ripped the envelope open. She took a deep breath, braced herself for the worst and unfolded the two parchments pinned together. With the release of rattling breathe she began reading.

_“Dear Ginny,_

_I hope being back at Hogwarts is better than you expected it to be and being the captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team is hopefully thrilling._

_Ron wouldn’t stop boasting about it at the training ‘Second one in the family’ he would tell anyone who would listen. We really wish we could come and watch you play your first match as the captain, but the training here has got pretty intense after the first two weeks of honeymoon period, it takes up most of our time. Even on the weekends, lot of our time goes into revising everything we have been taught in the previous week, and studying past cases, as there are weekly tests every Monday._

_We are being trained with some petty exciting spells like powerful concealment charms, detection spells, jinxes and anti- jinxes that we had never heard of at Hogwarts. Then there are these really effective hexes that can make itchy scales erupt on your opponent’s skin or give them painful, burning rashes all over their bodies. We are practicing on dummies because, though the effects of these hexes might sound simple, but are really difficult to get rid of. It usually takes seriously complicated potions and a lot of professional assistance form qualified healers to get the recipient of the hexes back to normal._

_Speaking of potions, we are going to start training on different sorts of healing potions next week. The first thing that we were taught in our induction was to always be prepared, to always keep all your senses on high alert and never overlook keeping a stash of healing potions well within your reach._

_Look at me, boring you with the unnecessary details of my Auror Training.”_

Boring- not at all, if anything Ginny found it insightful. She continued reading.

_“Ron and I have been visiting the Burrow every weekend. We’ll never be too busy to see your parents and George and especially for your Mum’s delicious cooking of course. George has been doing better lately. He says he is ready to take forward what he and Fred had started together and it would be an insult to Fred’s trouble making genius, if he did not keep working in direction of fulfilling Fred’s life- long dream- corrupting young magical minds with brand new ideas of mischief.”_

Ginny chuckled.

_“Last weekend, he even agreed to go to Andromeda’s with me and Ron to meet little Teddy. I reckon he was rather taken by the little bugger. Teddy is growing up wonderfully Ginny, I wish you could see it. Even at just eight months old, his eyes are full of kindness and playfulness that remind everyone so much of both his parents. I wish they were here to discover their own selves in their beautiful little boy. His hair and eyes keep changing colors to match his parents’ whenever we show him any photographs of them. The earlier he starts learning how amazingly wonderful his parents were, the better, at least, that’s what Andromeda and I feel.”_

Ginny could feel the back of her eyes prickling. Her heart ached for the little boy, who reminded her so much of Tonks, who had met with the most terrible fate at just a month of age.

_“Poor Andromeda. She is still adjusting to the fact that the only family she has got left is Teddy. But she is one strong woman. I doubt any of her sisters have half the guts as her. The way she is dealing with her losses while raising her infant grandson is incredible. _

_I have offered to babysit Teddy at Grimmauld Place for the next weekend. I assumed Andromeda could use some time to herself. She looks exhausted, never down in spirits but, physically exhausted. Your Mum has been helping her but I wanted to do my bit as the Godfather too. The two ladies have bee bonding so well lately. I don’t think I have seen Mrs. Weasley talking this much to anyone since the battle. It’s a rather heart- warming change._

_However, this has been a little tough on Bill and Fluer who are bombarded with not so subtle hints of Mrs. Weasley’s desire to have a grandchild soon, every time they visit the Burrow. I believe it’s all the effect of being around a baby so often.”_

Ginny’s face split into a huge grin. Bill and Fluer having a baby, she being an Aunt- yeah, she liked the idea of that.

_“I am pretty nervous about the weekend though, having never been around babies in my entire life. I hope I don’t mess things up. I want to do so much for this child, you know, I never want him to feel like not having his parents means there is no one to love and protect him. I want to be there for him, the way, I wished someone was there for me while I was growing up. And I know I have your family to back me up, pull me back on my feet when I fail in my Godfather duties._

_Sorry about getting all emotional there, I guess having a baby to take care of does that to you. _

_Oh, I almost forgot- Teddy misses his Auntie Ginny blowing raspberries on his tummy, I can tell”_

He saw that? When?

_“-and I can also tell that he is all excited to see her again on Christmas holidays.”_

Ginny couldn’t help but grin again. She missed Teddy too, she adored him, she could not wait to spend more time with the cute little turquoise haired wonder.

“_Everyone back home misses you, your parents, your brothers, even Fluer, and also me._

_Ginny, I know, we didn’t talk much during the summer but if you don’t mind, I would really like to amend that. I hope I can write more to you. I hope we can get back the level of comfort we had with each other. I hope we can be in the same room again without feeling the need to make up excuses to avoid talking to each other._

_Just, please give this a thought. I know, I’m in no place to ask you for any favors, but I would love to hear back from you. But there’s absolutely no pressure. It’s totally up to you. _

_Well, have a good term. Hoping to see you around Christmas._

_Love,_

_Harry.”_

Ginny read and reread the letter, again and again till she had almost memorized it. She felt her heart getting lighter with every read.

She read the last paragraph again. Harry had said he would love to hear back from her if _she_ wished to write back. Well of course, she wished to write back.

It was one thing having doubts and insecurities about being in a relationship with Harry for the time being, and it was a whole other thing that Harry was expecting out of her. Rekindling their friendship.

As far as a romantic relationship was concerned, she definitely wanted to get over her dilemmas and eventually accept the idea of being happy, being happy with Harry (if that’s what he wanted too).

For now, however, this letter was exactly what she needed, an assurance that although slowly, but things were heading in the right direction, away from pain and sufferings, towards hope, contentment, and radiance and light and there was absolutely no hurry.

For the first time in months, she felt happy, truly happy without a hint of guilt.

Smiling to herself, she quickly pulled a parchment, quill and bottle of ink from her school bag and set to writing her reply.

She wrote in so much haste that she left out a few words and left several blotches of ink all over the parchment.

She had to take out a new parchment and copy it all down neatly again.

She had written about how much better Hogwarts had been than her expectations, about how excited she was to conduct trials for her new Quidditch team, about how much she would miss Harry and Ron on the pitch. She had penned down her assurance to Harry that she did not find the details of his Auror training boring in the least and that she would love to get know more about it.

She had written about her faith in Harry making a great Auror and an even better Godfather, the best Teddy could ask for, about how she couldn’t wait to see the little boy again, about how much she worried about her family coping up with everything that had happened especially her parents and George and how relieved she was to know about all of them finding a way out of their miseries and how absolutely thrilling it would be to have a nice or a nephew, (although she would prefer a niece) but that decision should be left completely up to Bill and Fluer.

She talked about her ever -growing academic work load being a NEWT level student, how Hermione kept having little panic attacks every now and then in regards to her studies, how she herself was not too much on the edge about her NEWT results and just wanted to pass enough subjects with enough grades that would keep her mother from flipping out, how it was Quidditch that she wanted to pursue a career in.

She ended the letter expressing her desire to hear more from Harry and to see him soon.

She went over and over the letter till she was completely satisfied with it. After the 4th read, she carefully folded the parchments and headed to the owlery to find a Hogwarts owl to deliver the letter. As she watched the owl soar high into the sky, she felt like the bird had lifted a giant weight her chest was carrying, on its wings.

On her way back, she ran into Hermione and Luna coming out of the library. Within seconds she was bombarded with excited questions and surprisingly, she was happy to answer each one of them.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After 10 weeks of exchanging letters Harry and Ginny decide to meet during her first Hogsmead weekend. Things, however, do not go as planned.

Over the next few weeks the former couple kept exchanging long, elaborate letters, whose contents included everything from serious matters like Harry’s training, how they were going to have mock cases to solve by Christmas, his time with his Godson and how he was slowly gaining a knack of handling a baby, him and Ron visiting and helping George at the shop on the weekends, how the redecoration of the old Black family house was going, evolution of Kreacher’s behavior, the repair of Sirius’ old motorcycle he had taken up doing with help from Mr. Weasley, Ginny’s Quidditch trials, her recent victories, her studies, her plans of applying for different Pro Quidditch teams after she graduated and how she desperately wished to get into her favorite team Holyhead Harpies- to gossips like Neville’s most recent confessions of his feelings for Hannah Abott and how nervous he got even doing something as simple as reciting his drink order to her whenever the boys met at the Leaky Cauldron, or George’s growing closeness with Angelina Johnson as the two found comfort in each other’s company after the loss of Fred and how this closeness was cheering George up more than anything, or Bill and Fluer’s holiday plans and could the holiday end bearing the news that Mrs. Weasley was dying to hear.

They were also expressing with much ease how they both missed each other’s company and talking to each other in a mode of communication that did not involve parchments and ink.

To Hermione and Luna’s disappointment, it had been over 10 weeks and there still no sign of confessions of love and dating in Harry and Ginny’s letters, at least from what Ginny had been letting on.

There was another topic that they both refrained from getting deep into, the year after they had broken up. Ginny already knew the gist Harry, Ron and Hermione had recited at Harry’s birthday and had let Harry know that she was open to discuss it further, not just the incidents but the sentiments too, what Harry felt while he was on the hunt, how did he feel thinking about it now, but she had also made it clear that he only had to say anything if and when he felt like it.

Harry had replied saying it would be great open up about it and he couldn’t think of anyone better than Ginny to do so, but he had also said that perhaps it was best to do it in person.

He too couldn’t resist asking about Ginny’s last year, what was it like being surrounded by deatheaters within Hogwarts and being taught by them.

Ginny had no idea where to begin and how to pen down the exact feelings and experiences of the past year and had replied saying that this discussion was best left for a face to face meeting too. Moreover, she thought there was no point worrying Harry with the horrid details of last year when she couldn’t be there to comfort him and assure him that it was fine. She was sure, Harry would somehow find ways to blame himself for whatever transpired within the castle too.

So, neither of the two pushed the other to write any more about the previous year, than they wanted to.

They had established somewhat of an unspoken routine. Every Friday, Harry would sit in the cafeteria of the Auror office after the other trainees had left and write about his week, imagine Ginny’s reaction to everything he was going to share with her and smile contentedly at the growing pace of the dynamics of his relationship with her, even if it was only a platonic friendly one at the moment.

Ginny would receive Harry’s letter through a Ministry Owl every Sunday, would immediately settle in a private, cozy corner to read and soak in every word of it and would set to writing her response.

Every Saturday she slept with an anticipation of Harry’s next letter. With every exchange, Ginny became more open to the prospect of a happy guilt free equation with Harry, which would hopefully soon enough bloom into something more than friendship.

She, however had chosen to be completely silent about any idea of romantic relationship with Harry in her letters, as she didn’t want him to be influenced by any kind of external factors and she wanted him to be sure of his choices and take as much time as required to make those choices. She made the same clear to Hermione when asked by her.

This Sunday, in exchange of Harry’s letter, Ginny had an exciting news for him. On Friday evening, she and Hermione had found the notice board at Gryffindor common room hogged by excitedly chattering younger students, the reason- Hogsmeade weekend.

The trip to the village was scheduled for the next Saturday, just a day before they were supposed to be heading home for Christmas break. Hermione had squealed with joy and had immediately wanted to fire call Ron and inform him about the trip. Unfortunately, the only fireplaces having access for fire calls were the ones in staff’s offices.

Ginny was however, surprised to get Harry’s letter delivered quite early in the morning while she was still too lazy to leave her bed, instead of in the Great Hall at breakfast like it usually did.

This one was quite short and was more scrawled hastily than written. The short message read

“_Hermione fire called Ron, 10 minutes ago-” _

_What? Hermione had fire called Ron? When? This means she must have snuck into a faculty’s office. But why didn’t she tell her this?_

_“-and I know your Hogsmeade trip is scheduled for next Saturday. Of course, Ron will be coming to see Hermione and has asked Neville, and me to join. Do you think we can meet in the Three Broomsticks? Send your reply with this owl.”_

Ginny grinned to herself, all drowsiness forgotten, she leapt up from her bed, grabbed a piece of parchment, ink and quill and scribbled her response while the cuddly little owl nibbled on her pillow, waiting for her to finish writing.

She quickly wrote:

_“Sounds great Harry. So excited to see all of you. Three Broomsticks, at noon, coming Saturday. Can’t wait.”_

and tied the little rolled up note to the owl’s claw, before letting it out of the window.

As Ginny would find out within the next couple of hours, Hermione had snuck into Filch’s office with Luna’s help while she was at Quidditch practice and had only hidden the fact because she didn’t think Ginny would be too happy with the fact it was Luna who created the required distraction using _Ginny’s_ dungbombs instead of the Ginny herself.

Damn right, she wasn’t happy about it, stealing her dungbombs and then using it in her absence for something she wouldn’t want to miss at any cost, it was outrageous. But her excitement and anticipation for the coming Saturday left next -to -none room for annoyance.

Harry spent Saturday, Sunday and Monday anxiously waiting for Ginny’s reply. Though he didn’t expect it any sooner than Tuesday, but any sound of wings flapping made him jump from his seat and he had to remind himself that it was still too early.

Every second of waiting was making him more and more nervous. He just could not face no for an answer to his question.

A lot had depended on him meeting Ginny in Hogsmeade. Harry had made up his mind that he would confess his feelings to Ginny in this visit, he could not stand not knowing what she wanted anymore. He was done guessing and speculating.

If she rejected him, well he didn’t know what he would he would do if she rejected him, but he did know that her rejection had the power to reduce him from a well -functioning, sound minded man to just bones, flesh and skin. 

He didn’t think he would be able to spend Christmas under the same roof as her, no matter how warm Mrs. Wesley’s invitation to spend Christmas at the Burrow with the Weasleys had been.

But if, as he was hoping, his feelings were reciprocated, that would just lead to probably the best Christmas of his life.

God, he _did_ need to see her, and see her before she was back home.

So, when the Ministry owl he had sent to Ginny, tapped on his bedroom window on Tuesday night, he untied Ginny’s note from the bird’s claw and opened it with trembling fingers. Harry let out a huge sigh of relief on reading the note, but at the same time was disappointed with the words ‘all of you’ in Ginny’s note.

She was excited to meet everyone, which meant he won’t be getting much time alone with her to talk.

Well, of course she would be eager to meet others, it was obvious. Ron was her brother after all, and Neville and her had gotten closer than ever in the last year. From what Neville had told him and Ron, they were best of friends now.

If only logic ad reasoning could solve every problem. The problem of how Harry would talk to Ginny in front of all their friends still stood in front of him. Harry started anxiously pacing across his room. Lastly, he decided on asking Ginny for some time away from the group after an appropriate amount of time and just spill his guts out once he gets her alone. He wanted to tell her everything- about his time away from her, how much he missed her, how he used to look at her dot on the Marauders Map hoping she would somehow know he was thinking about her, how he ached to talk to her after the battle and how stupid he thought he was for not doing it before she left for Hogwarts, and how he had not stopped thinking about her ever since she left.

Yes, he was going to tell her everything and whatever would come next, good or bad, he would just have to suck it up and deal with it.

Saturday took its sweet time to finally arrive, much more than usual. Ginny had always loved the trips to the little village of Hogsmeade but none in the past had been as anticipated as this one. Never had she invested so much time shuffling through all her clothes, worrying about what to wear.

At half past one in the afternoon she and Hermione were making their way out of Honeydukes towards the Three Broomsticks. This morning an express Ministry Owl had delivered a note from Ron informing the girls about the slight delay the boys were facing in their arrival to the pub. Instead of 12:00, they were to arrive at 2:00 in the afternoon after taking a detour to the Ministry to meet the Head Auror Robards and hand him their reports from their first mock mission from Thursday.

_Slight delay my arse-_ Ginny had thought- _It was two freaking hours of delay. This extended wait better be worth it._

Patience had never been one of Ginny’s strong point.

This delay also meant that Luna would not be able to join them. By 1 o’ clock she was supposed to be picked by her father who was taking her to the foot of nearby hills to meet a man who supposedly was a trader carrying Crumple Horned Snorkack horn and some other ancient artefacts that might interest the Lovegoods. Luna had promised that she would be back by sundown and definitely meet the boys before they left.

At two, Harry, Ron and Neville were pushing their ways through a tightly knit herd of students entering and leaving the Three Broomsticks.

Hermione immediately spotted Ron and bounced her way into his open arms. Harry turned to look for Ginny. He found her talking to a bunch of friends at the back.

As the crowd around her started to clear, Ginny looked around the pub to see where Hermione had vanished. She found her in a rib crushing embrace of Ron. She looked further to the left and in seconds her eyes were locked with a pair of gorgeous green ones.

She smiled radiantly at Harry and his heart skipped a beat. Merlin, she was beautiful.

Dressed in all black, her skin glowed as if illuminated by the cool rays of a hundred moons.

That smile, it could reduce any man to a puddle.

In that moment Harry was beginning to comprehend just how much he had really missed Ginny, Ginny who even if for a short while, made life seem like it was borrowed from someone else, who made him forget that he was an orphaned teenager bearing the weight of the world on his shoulders, who made him feel- _normal_, like someone who did not have a horrible past haunting him or a terrible future awaiting him.

Not just her but every little detail about her- her eyes, her deep brown, blazing, mesmerizing, soulful eyes- the freckles against her silky smooth fair skin, not too much but just enough to adorn her skin like tiny jeweled stones on a smooth shining surface of gold- her fiery red strands which he loved to entangle with his fingers, her heavenly flowery fragrance that he could never have enough of- the way her eye lids used to drop and cheeks used to flush whenever he paid her a compliment- her soft adorable snores that came with their short naps by the lake when she was supposed to be revising and he was supposed to be helping- the way her long beautiful eyelashes fluttered when she woke from those naps to his soft kisses- her animated hand gestures when she was describing something she was too excited or too pissed about- the way she played with her hair when she was concentrating hard on something- the way her small, petite body used to fit perfectly in his arms- how soft and how right her luscious lips used to feel against his.

God, he was completely enchanted by this girl. He was more than that, he was- he was head over heels in love with her.

The realization had just dawned on him yet didn’t exactly feel new to him, but still felt odd. Even in his head, it felt foreign yet familiar. It was like trying to look directly into blinding light which had always been there but had been blurred by a dense mist until now.

Perhaps he had known it since he offered her his shoulders to cry on, or maybe when it was only her he could think of right before he surrendered himself to death, or maybe he even knew it when he felt that burning pain from not being able to see her for all those months, or even when despite of it being one of the hardest things he has ever had to do, he had to let her go or even when he kissed her for the first time in front of all those people, because he couldn’t care less about what anyone would think.

But it had always been like looking at something from a significant distance through a translucent veil, and now, the distance was navigated, the veil had lifted, the mist had dissolved, it was clearer than ever and Harry could do nothing to avert from it. The fact stood in front of him- huge and unwavering, shining brilliantly and Harry could not hide or escape from it.

As it sunk in and soaked every cell of his body, it just felt right, like it completed him.

_Wow, I love Ginny Weasley._

The thought made him flush and he felt heat rising in his body, heading in form of current from the tip of his toes to his head which he was sure was somewhere over the clouds by now.

With a significant effort, he snapped out of his musings and saw her. She stopped walking up to him and they stood about a foot apart.

Slowly and possibly hesitantly, she began raising her hands with the same welcoming smile on her lips and Harry prepared to lose himself in the warm embrace of the girl he- he _loved_. But her hands never reached him, instead he heard a gasp and a squeal “-Ginny” behind him and before he could react, Neville had pushed past him and was holding Ginny in a tight hug.

Ginny giggled and tightened her arms around Neville’s back.

“How have you been Nev?”

“Good, good. Oh, there’s so much I have to talk to you about. Come on, let’s go find a table.”

With that he dragged Ginny by her arm to the recently vacated table by the window. Ginny shot an apologetic look at Harry, but before he could do any more than smile reassuringly at her, his vision was blocked by a thick bush of brown hair. Hermione had chosen that very moment to come and greet him.

She smiled brightly at him threw her arms around Harry, who hugged her back.

“Hi Hermione. God, don’t smother me to death” Harry joked patting her back.

She let go of him “Oh Harry, it’s so good to see you. It’s not the same being at Hogwarts without you both”. She shot Harry and Ron fond looks.

From the table to Hermione’s right, Ginny cleared her throat.

“Before my brother gets any wrong ideas that I have not been taking good enough care of his girlfriend, why don’t we all settle ourselves down and order some drinks.”

It was 5 in the evening and the table by the window of the Three Broomsticks was still booming with laughter of its five occupants-

“What if she finds my love for plants stupid?”

-and Neville’s anxious, verbal cogitations about him making a move on the girl of his dreams, here and there.

“Relax Nev, as long as you don’t get her a foul smelled gas emitting cactus or something on your first date, I am sure it will be fine” chimed Ginny.

“Ok, but the first date part comes later, first I need to ask her out, and what if I go over to talk to her and completely black out? What if I can’t get any words out of my mouth? She is so intimidatingly beautiful- Stop rolling your eyes Gin, I have seen it happen to boys approaching you.”

“That was _one_ boy, and he was a dim- witted, sleezy idiot, _you _are not.” Ginny countered him sternly.

“Well looks like you won’t have to wait too long to find an answer to that” said Ron, his gaze at the entrance of the pub. “Hannah just entered and- wait -wow Neville, she totally checked you out” he clapped Neville’s back.

Harry, who was sitting across Ginny, encouraged Neville “Go on mate, she is not at work, this is a perfect chance, go talk to her.”

“Yeah, go ask her out” prodded Hermione.

Soon the table was filled with chants of “Come on Neville, you can do this.”

Neville pushed his chair back, took a deep breath and downed the rest of his fire whiskey before standing up. With a trembling voice he said “Ok, I’m gonna go talk to her. No blacking out. Steady Longbottom” and with those words of self- assurance, he left the table.

Harry watched him nervously approach Hannah’s table. Close to that table, Harry noticed a light brown- haired Wizard, that he didn’t know, eyeing Ginny hungrily. Harry had noticed the wizard shooting random glances at Ginny a couple of more times throughout the afternoon, but now there was a greed in his eyes that made Harry very uncomfortable.

He immediately knew he hated this bloke. Taking advantage of the moment Ron and Ginny were busy bickering about their respective favorite Quidditch teams, he nudged Hermione, who was sitting sandwiched between him and Ron and whispered “Hermione, do you know that bloke over there on the table next to Hannah’s?”

“Oh yeah, that’s Simon Donovan, Ravenclaw. He was in Ginny’s year, well now, he’s in my year too. Kind of has a reputation of a playboy.”

“Yeah, that’s what I was afraid of” Harry grunted, shooting a filthy look at Donovan.

He thought he shouldn’t waste more time and ask Ginny to leave the pub with him, alone, as soon as possible.

But first, he decided he needed to use the loo, so, he excused himself from the others.

“God, I can’t believe how these witches have been gawking at Harry all afternoon” Ginny complained as soon as Harry was out of earshot.

“They are like hungry vultures out on prey, especially that curly haired sixth year, what’s her name?” she asked Hermione.

“I don’t know, some Gilbert” Hermione shrugged. “But I see what you mean, there has been a lot of staring going on here. Good thing that Romilda Vane is in a happy relationship now, isn’t it?”

“Oh, this one is worse, I bet.”

“Well, it was bound to happen to ‘the Chosen one turned to Savior of the Wizarding World’. Don’t you think?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“It’s the same every time we are the Leaky”, Ron confided “but don’t worry sis, no matter how many witches are lusting after him, our Harry has got his heart the right place.”

Ginny wondered what Ron meant by that last remark but couldn’t for long as her stomach gave an uneasy growl.

“Um…I’ll be right back, my stomach doesn’t feel so good. I guess I had too much of butterbeer and fire whiskey together.”

She got up and her gaze flew to Hannah and Neville who were engrossed in deep conversation, with their heads merely inches apart.

“Wow, Neville seems to be doing good for himself.”

Ron and Hermione turned to look at the two. Ron let out a low whistle and Hermione beamed “Go Neville.”

Ginny’s stomach gave another growl and she hurried towards the loo.

Harry quickly washed his hands after exiting the toilet stall. He looked up at the mirror and released a long breath. He was going to do it now, he was going to step out of that washroom, go straight to the chair beside Ginny that Neville had vacated a few minutes ago, he was going to ask Ginny to accompany him outside for a walk. If everything went well, he would be kissing his long lost and yet newly found love before this evening ended, (after eighteen fucking months.)

The wait had been way too long for his liking.

With a new found determination, he walked out of the washroom. The next thing he knew, his shoulders were groped by a pair of small, dainty hands and he was pulled into the adjoining girl’s washroom. Whoever it was, they had pinned him to the wall with surprising force and he was being thoroughly kissed by a pair of lips that didn’t feel familiar at all.

Ginny entered the door to the loo behind which stood two other doors separated by a wall that led to Men’s and Women’s washrooms respectively.

She pushed open the door with a little outline of a woman on it, but regretted it immediately as her eyes fell on the sight inside. The curly haired witch who was hungrily surveying Harry earlier was running one of her hands all over a dark haired, bespectacled man’s body which was pinned to the opposite wall with her other hand on his chest. Their lips were glued together.

“Sorry….um very sorry“ Ginny murmured more to herself than the snogging couple, while closing the door.

But_, wait….was that- no, it couldn’t be, was it?_

She carefully and very silently opened the door again and snuck a peep.

Yes, it was without a doubt, a lightening bolt shaped scar on the man’s forehead.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ginny is shocked to the very core. In a fit of rage she might do something she doesn't remotely want to.

Ginny’s head was spinning like a top.

She immediately pulled herself away from the door which swung back to its frame on its own accord.

She pushed the other door that provided entrance to the loo area, and it made a loud noise as she banged it back to its wooden frame. The pub swam and rotated before her eyes. Her guts were squirming into a knot, her breath was heavy like the pub had suddenly run out of air and she was struggling for breath. It felt like she was falling from a great, great height directly into a dark abyss. She clutched her stomach and gasped for breath. There were tears welling up in her eyes, threatening to fall out any second. She straightened herself and headed to the bar. She got a pint of fire whiskey and asked Madam Rosmaretta, if she could add the pint to the rest of the orders from their table. Rosmoretta responded in affirmation and Ginny headed out of the pub with the pint in her hand. She crossed their table where Ron and Hermione were still talking and giggling as if nothing had just happened that had turned the world upside down.

Ron saw her walking past the table and called out “Hey where are you going? Are you OK?”

She just waved her hand in an indication that he need not to worry and that she will talk to him later. Ron got back to his conversation with Hermione.

Ginny darted out of the pub and took a long swig from her pint, still in disbelief at what she had just seen. Harry was snogging another girl, and not just any girl, the same curly haired lusty bitch that she was talking about just moments ago. But she had no idea that Harry was interested in that vulture too, she was a complete stranger to him after all. She couldn’t understand this.

_How did it even happen? Harry is not the kind of bloke who snogged strange girls at pubs. And more importantly, much more importantly, this seemed like a chance where they could finally talk and maybe take their friendship to something more than that. Wasn’t that why he had sent that small urgent note instead of a long elaborate letter the last time? And those letters, they definitely seemed like an attempt to rekindle their lost spark. All those talks about how much he missed her, how he longed to talk to her, how hard it was for him to wait to see her again, they all felt like he was indicating at some romantic feelings he held for her. And now he was snogging that…..that….urgh. _

_Maybe it was the war that had changed him. Maybe since he had been so deprived of affection in the past, and he was so tired of being burdened with so much responsibility at such young age, that he sought to compensate all that with multiple romantic partners. Maybe he had a girlfriend back at home from his training too. But whatever be the case, he had no right to make her one of his sources for entertainment._

_Or was she reading too much into those letters from him. Did they not actually mean anything?_

_Well they definitely were misleading_. _She knew it, she knew giving someone any range of powers over herself could only end in the worst scenario, and yet here she was, making the same mistake again, repeating what she vowed never to repeat at the age of twelve._

And just like that, the anger that had built up inside her last year away from Harry, from him breaking up with her, from not knowing where or how he was, the anger she had kept well below the surface for the last eight months had resurfaced. Her insides were burning with white hot rage- channeled as much towards herself as Harry. She was about to take another long sip of fire whiskey when her stomach growled again and she puked all its contents out on the formerly pristine white patch of snow.

Harry’s mind had gone numb, before he could figure out what was happening to him, he felt a tongue forcing its way through his lips and sliding into his mouth. There was a sound of a door banging loudly which startled whoever it was, pinning him to the wall and forcing herself on him. This gave Harry his small window of opportunity and he could not let it go, this witch seemed to be quite strong and determined to have her way with him. He pushed this girl away holding her shoulders firmly.

The girl brushed her dark curly hair out of her face and looked up at him with a puzzled expression on her face.

“What?” she asked as if the whole situation was perfectly normal and Harry was being absurd.

“Who the hell are you?” And what do you think you are doing?” asked Harry in a high- pitched voice full of bewilderment.

The girl chuckled which got Harry even more agitated. “I’m Kathy, Kathy Gilbert.” She started leaning back towards Harry’s face, caressing his shoulder and chest. Harry leaned backwards to prevent himself from being attacked again, he held the hand lingering on his chest and placed it gently on Katy’s side.

“Look Kathy, I don’t know what gave you the idea that I would be into this” he said gesturing between the two of them. “But you really need to stop. I’m sorry but I’m not interested.”

Kathy chuckled again, Harry wondered what the bloody hell was so amusing about this.

“Don’t act like you weren’t enjoying this. Merlin, I’ve had my eyes on you all afternoon, you’re not just noble and valorous like everyone says, you’re also just ravishing. Wow, you certainly weren’t this muscly two years back, at school.”

“Ok, first of all, no I was not enjoying this. I was utterly uncomfortable, this is completely inappropriate. Second of all, however flattered I am, but I really am not the kind of bloke who snogs random girls I don’t know at pubs. In fact, I know perfectly well, who the one and only girl is that I would want to be this close with. So, if you can just back off a little bit, that would be great, thanks.”

Kathy eyed him with disbelief “Look Harry, I know you are single and available, if you had a girlfriend, it would have been all over the gossip columns. More than half the girls in this pub would love to throw themselves at you, and you can land any one of them, hell, you can land more than one. Are you seriously saying that you are not interested in any of that but just one girl? What, are you in love or something?”

At this Harry couldn’t help but grin “I guess that’s it, yeah. Now if you will excuse me” he pulled himself from between the wall and Kathy and began walking past her towards the door.

“It’s the Weasley girl, isn’t it? The one you dated last. She is here with you right now. Are you two together?”

Harry turned around and smiled “Yeah, that’s the one. We are not together yet, but soon, hopefully”

“I thought so. I saw the way you were looking at her with that longing in your eyes. Wish you or just someone looked at _me_ like that” said Kathy.

“Well someone would, definitely, it’s just not going to be me. I am head over heels for someone else. Sorry.”

Kathy smiled at him sympathetically, “She is a lucky girl. Go get her.” she said patting his arm and reaching for the door. Harry let her leave first and then followed her out. He stopped at the Men’s washroom to splash water his face, as if trying to erase any signs of having been thoroughly kissed. He got back to the table only to find that Ginny was no longer sitting there.

“Hey, where’s Ginny?” he asked Ron.

“Oh, she said she was not feeling very well with all the butterbeer and fire whiskey she had together. She is outside probably getting some fresh air.”

“Oh, Ok.” Harry sighed. If Ginny was not well maybe he wouldn’t get a chance to get her alone and talk to her.

“May be I should go and check on her” Harry said, but just then the door to the pub opened and Ginny entered with a weird expression on her face, almost murderous.

“I am going back to the castle, I need to lie down for a bit. I’ll see you back at the dorm Hermione.” Ginny said picking her wallet up from the table and taking out some money to pay for her share of the food and drinks. For some reason she was avoiding looking at any of them and her voice was colder than the snow outside.

“You sure you can’t stay for just another half an hour? We can escort you back to the castle” Harry said rising from his chair.

Ginny shot him a look of pure despise and stonily said “No. Bye Ron.”

As she turned to leave she found someone blocking her way. It was Simon Donovan, grinning like an idiot. Ginny wondered what did he want.

“Hi Weasley. Leaving?” he asked.

“Yes Donovan. Why?” Ginny asked back, curtly.

“Well I was just wondering if you would like to join me for dinner at the Leaky Cauldron the day after tomorrow?”

“And why would I do that?”

“So, I wouldn’t be alone on the date” he said like was explaining the outcome of adding two and two to a toddler. Oh, she could punch him right then.

“Perhaps I wasn’t clear enough. Would you like to go on a date with me?” he continued, thankfully in a more grown up tone.

_What the hell! This touché has the nerve to ask Ginny on a date, right under my nose- _Harry’s insides had started to dangerously twist and churn again. He was not yet over the shock from Ginny’s despised look and now this was happening. He saw Ginny smirk and shake her head._ Good she is going to say no- _well Harry should not have expected anything else.

“What, do you have a boyfriend?” asked Donovan.

“Nope, no boyfriend.” Ginny shrugged.

Harry heaved a sigh of relief as one of the first questions he was about to ask her tonight was answered, but the relief didn’t live long as Ginny further added “Fine. 6 o’ clock. I’ll be there.” And with that she walked out of the pub and out of sight.

Donovan looked around, still grinning and nodded at Ron and Harry before heading back to his table.

Ron looked as shocked as Harry felt and Hermione was still gaping at the door.

“What just happened?” she said in a small voice.

Ron shook his head, but Harry found himself unable to so much as flinch a muscle. He was too numb to say or even think anything.

“Harry, there must be…” Ron began.

“I’ll see you back at home.” Harry cut across Ron and stormed out of the pub to apparate to Grimmauld Place.

“I did it, I have a date with Hannah Abott next Saturday.” Neville’s cheerful chiming drew Ron and Hermione out of their recent sock.

Neville looked at them puzzled “Hey, where are Harry and Ginny?”

Ron and Hermione began explaining Neville why Harry and Ginny weren’t still there. Only, they were not sure they completely understood the whole situation themselves. Half an hour later Ron and Neville were apparating to Grimmauld Place and Hermione along with Luna who had finally joined them only to find about half the party had already left, was walking back to Hogwarts while Hermione explained the whole evening to Luna. In response, Luna had only one thing to say.

“Love can be tricky. I’ve always reckoned. Father says it can play with your conscience like nothing else can. It can make you wise beyond belief and simultaneously empty headed beyond recognition. It’s much worse than a whole cluster of wrackspurts. Isn’t that beautiful?”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After spending months recovering to -close to normal, Harry is heart broken again. But things are not always as they seem from the outside.

“Hi Ron” Hermione greeted Ron with a chaste kiss. “How’s Harry doing?”

It was almost five in the evening and Ron and Harry had returned from the training half an hour ago.

The day after the eventful trip to Hogsmeade, Hermione, Luna and Ginny were back at their respective homes, escorted by their respective parents. The day next to that, Hermione came to visit Ron and Harry at Grimmauld Place as she had promised Ron.

“Not good. He has not come out of his room ever since he came back from Hogsmeade except for training, and he was barely present there. He didn’t even pay attention half the time, hardly talked to anyone and shut himself back in his room as soon as we got here. It’s like last summer all over again. I think he is losing his mind.” said Ron worriedly.

“He is not losing his mind, he is_ hurting_” asserted Hermione walking past Ron, up the stairs towards Harry’s bedroom. “We need to talk to him Ron, we can’t just leave him like this.”

Ron nodded in agreement catching up to walk alongside her.

Harry started at the knock on his bedroom door.

“Harry come out, we need to talk to you.” He heard Hermione’s voice.

“Go away, I don’t want to talk to anyone.’ he lazily replied, making no effort to get up from his bed.

“That’s what he said to me and Neville” Harry heard Ron’s voice from across the door.

“Harry come on, I’m sure there’s something we can’t put a finger on yet, we need to think together. Maybe there’s something you could tell us. Did you do or say something to upset Ginny?” Hermione asked anxiously.

When she didn’t get a reply she raised her hand to knock again but stopped just in time as Harry opened the door and stood there with a deeply wounded look on his face.

“I didn’t do anything to upset her. You both were right there, you heard every word I said to her. I just went to the loo and when I came back she seemed infuriated at me.” Harry did not disclose the part where he was snogged by Kathy Gilbert, even if against his will. In the past 2 days, he had contemplated the chances of Ginny having seen him in that position but had always figured that she could not have seen it or she would have definitely said something to someone. And now that Hermione wasn’t questioning him about the incident, he was sure Ginny must not have seen him or she would have definitely said something to Hermione.

“Ok. Let’s get this discussion down to the living room, shall we” Hermione suggested dragging Harry downstairs by his arm.

“Hermione, you were with her for hours on the train and before that you must have seen her in the dormitory. Sure she must have said something to you” Ron inquired as the three settled themselves in the living room.

“No, when I got back to the dormitory she was fast asleep and I’m pretty sure she was sloshed, because I found an empty pint of fire whiskey under her bed. She slept through the whole night” Hermione confided.

“Ok, what about the train?” asked Harry.

“I tried to talk to her Harry, but she kept blowing me off. She just said if she wanted to date Donovan, she would and I can’t tell her what or what not to do, which technically is correct.”

Harry hung his head in defeat and brushed his hand over it. “This is a nightmare”.

“Harry, I refuse to believe that this is happening out of nowhere. There must be something that we are missing. I can bet anything that it’s you she really wants. You haven’t seen how her face used to light up when she got your letters, and how excited she was about meeting you that day. I swear I haven’t seen her so happy and excited about anything since the battle.” Hermione finished in a heavy voice. 

“You know what, I agree with Hermione, Ginny has wanted to be with you since she was 10, I don’t see why she would just blow her chance without a reason, and then, there’s that look, how we can forget _the look_” said Ron a little more enthusiastically than needed.

“The look? What do you mean? What look?” inquired Hermione, her eyes darting between Ron and Harry.

“The ‘_you still have your chance- don’t let me go_’ sort of look she gave Harry before boarding the train to Hogwarts” Ron confided, turning Hermione’s mouth into a perfect O.

“I am starting to think, that’s not what it was, or this-“ Harry waved his arms around animatedly “would not be happening.”

“_This_” Ron’s arms imitated Harry’s “is only a by- product of something that has happened much later, I can bet every single galleon I have.”

“Then I don’t know. I don’t know what I have done wrong. I would be willing to do anything to correct it, if only I knew what it was.” The feeling that Ginny had probably seen him with Kathy was getting stronger now, but Harry still didn’t want to believe it could be true.

The three sat in silence for another 15 minutes, each thinking hard.

“You know, she did say something about being angry at you for leaving her and not contacting her for almost a year. And if I think about it, it’s a fair enough reason to be pissed. Harry, may be that’s what this is about, this is just her showing how mad at you she is” Hermione suggested.

Harry considered it for a moment then said “But if she was mad about that why would she answer all my letters and not mention it even once. I did think she would be furious at me for all those things, but with those letters, it seemed that things were getting better between us and maybe it could start something again. But maybe, I interpreted it all wrong. I am just a giant fool.” He sighed.

“No, ‘Mione, I don’t think that’s what it is. She seemed fine the whole afternoon that day. Think harder” said Ron.

Another 10 minutes passed in silence. Harry looked up at the clock. It was 20 minutes to 6 o’ clock. In 20 minutes, Ginny would be at the Leaky Cauldron on a date with another guy. Harry stomach churned and he got up from his seat. “I can’t believe I lost my chance. In 20 minutes that slimy bastard will be on a date with Ginny, my Ginny” he yelled.

_My only chance at happiness._

Ron and Hermione exchanged terrified looks.

“I’m going back to my room” said Harry in a defeated tone.

“No, Harry wait” Ron called out. “Hermione, there are still 20 minutes for this date, so Ginny would not be leaving for at least another 10 minutes. Why don’t you floo to the burrow and try talking her out of it. Maybe she will tell you why she agreed to this date in the first place.”

Hermione nodded and hurried to the fireplace.

“Harry sit down, you are not going anywhere yet” ordered Ron. Harry quietly obeyed, a faint shimmer of hope rising in his chest.

Ginny looked at the clock in her room, it was twenty past 5. She should start getting ready, she thought.

With a sigh she got out of her bed which she had hardly left ever since she came back home. She felt annoyed with herself for agreeing to this date. Why did she say yes to that pervert Simon Donovan? Never in a million years she would have thought of having a meal with someone like him who could hardly look a girl in the eye while talking to them.

_One should never make any decisions when they are that angry and confused_, she thought. Well there was nothing she could do now other than going to meet him. She didn’t want to be rude and make this guy suffer the brunt of her being angry at someone else. And since there were no delivery owls around, writing to him wasn’t an option. She decided she would just make an appearance, politely tell him that she wasn’t interested in him or anyone for that matter to pursue anything remotely romantic with, apologize and come back home. She randomly picked out a jumper, a jacket and a pair of jeans from her pile of nice cloths and changed after a quick shower. She didn’t make any effort on her hair, she just pulled off the hair tie that was holding it in bun and raked her fingers through it till it was somewhat satisfactory. At 15 minutes to 6 she grabbed her wallet and reached for the door only to find Hermione climbing up the stairs to her room. Ginny shut the door behind her and walked over to greet her friend.

“Hi Hermione, I thought you were meeting Ron today.”

“Ginny. Hi. I was just coming to talk to you” Hermione panted “Ginny you are not really going to go through with this date thing are you?”

Ginny rolled her eyes at her “Yes, Hermione. I am headed there right now.” Hermione didn’t have to know this was not going to be a real date.

“No you can’t.”

“What?”

“Ginny, how can you go on a date with another bloke? I thought you fancied Harry. Weren’t you all excited when he said he was coming to meet you? What happened?”

“So Harry sent you here to stop me.”

“No, I…”

“You can tell him that if he really still wants to talk, he can come to me directly when he is done snogging random girls around Hogsmeade.”

“What Harry….”

“Oh, and also tell him, if he sends any more deceptive letters to me I will burn them”, Ginny chided before storming off to the fireplace in the kitchen.

Hermione watched her saying goodbye to her mother and assuring her that she won’t be too late and disappearing behind green flames. Molly only knew that Ginny was meeting friends for a drink at the Leaky Cauldron.

Hermione stood there trying to register what she had heard. She shook her head vigorously trying to un- hear it and hurried back downstairs.

“Mrs. Weasley, can I use your fireplace to floo back to Ron’s?”

“Of course dear. Are you sure you don’t want to stay for tea though?” asked Mrs. Weasley cheerfully.

“No, thanks Mrs. Weasley, may be some other time. I really need to hurry” and with that she threw some floo powder in the grate and yelled 12, Grimmauld place.

“Harry James Potter” Harry was startled when he heard Hermione yelling from the fireplace. He saw her climb out of it looking utterly flabbergasted.

“I can’t believe you Harry James Potter” she yelled again, dangerously approaching Harry with stomping feet.

“Hey, hey, hey, slow down, what’s the matter?” Ron tried to calm Hermione down.

“Why don’t you answer him Harry?”

Ron’s eyes darted between Harry and Hermione waiting for answers.

“What are you-“ began Harry.

“Who did you snog at Hogsmeade?” asked Hermione placing her hands on her hips.

“What?” Ron spat out in astonishment.

“She saw that?” Harry gasped. “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”

“What? So, you really did snog someone at Hogsmeade and all this time you were pretending to be miserable pining after my sister? Potter, what are you playing at?” Ron was practically screaming now.

“Yes, he did snog some girl. Ginny just told me. Harry, would you make up your mind, who do you want to be with?” asked Hermione not bothering to lower her voice at all.

“I didn’t” Harry yelled back. “I didn’t snog anyone. This girl Kathy Gilbert, she cornered me when I was getting out of the loo, she pulled me into the girls’ loo and pinned me to the wall and started kissing me. I swear I didn’t kiss her back, I didn’t even touch her except to push her off of me. And then I told her the truth, that I only wanted one girl, the one I am in love with- your sister Ron. There is no one else. There just can’t be.”

“You- you-you- you- you-“ Hermione slapped Ron’s back to draw him out of the astonishment that had got him stuck on one word, “You love her?”

Harry sighed and scrubbed his face.

“I can’t believe I am telling this to her brother before her but yes, I do, and I was going to ask her for a walk and tell her that after coming back from the loo but then everything went down the gutter.”

“So, you really didn’t snog anyone?” asked Hermione, her voice was a little heavy.

“No Hermione, I was dreading that Ginny might have seen me being practically molested and get a wrong idea, but I thought she would have definitely said something if she saw it.”

“So that’s why she is going on this date, she’s just doing it in a fit of rage. I knew it, I knew even if she wasn’t interested in you anymore, she wouldn’t go out with Donovan in a million years. She never liked him in the least, even as a person. He is really creepy” said Hermione wrinkling her nose in disgust.

“Harry, you have to go fix this” said Ron, “I can’t let this creepy pervert date my sister” he too sounded disgusted.

Harry nodded and started sprinting towards the fireplace when Hermione called behind him “you can’t go in your pajamas, you have to go change first.”

Hermione was right, Harry sprinted back towards the stairs. “And take a shower first. The smell would not help.” Hermione called out again.

Harry stopped at the foot of the stairs and turned to glare at Hermione.

“She is right mate, you haven’t showered in 2 days, you are stinking” said Ron.

“Ok, fine” Harry said as turned to run up the stairs.

Ginny saw Simon sitting at a table in the corner as she climbed out of the fireplace of the Leaky Cauldron. She made her way to the table, determined to get over with this whole thing as soon as possible.

As she got closer to the table, Simon looked up at her and stood up to greet her.

“Hi Ginny. You look lovely this evening.” he said raising his arms clearly hoping to pull Ginny into a hug.

She stopped maintaining a distance between herself and Simon and offered her hand instead.

Simon looked at the offered hand a little disappointed but shook it anyways before pulling out the chair for her to sit.

Ginny reluctantly took the seat. She was hoping she could politely tell him off and leave without having to actually sit through any of it.

“So, you wanna order a drink? I just had a butterbeer.”

Ginny let out a sigh “Look Simon, I’m sorry, but I’m not really here to have dinner with you. I just came here to tell you that as flattered as I am to be asked out by you, I can’t date you – or any one….at the moment. I’m sorry, I know I agreed to having dinner with you tonight, but I realized later, that this is not what I want. I am just not ready. I’m sorry.”

Simon leaned to the back of his chair scrutinizing her, then smiled “It’s ok. I understand, it must be a hard time for you. Just that I saw you chatting happily with your friends that day at Hogsmeade and I just thought I could give it a shot. I actually didn’t have high hopes about you saying yes to me.”

“I’m sorry, I misled you” said Ginny sympathetically.

“Oh, come on, it’s fine. Stop saying that.” Donovan waved his hand at her. “Can I ask you something though, if you don’t mind?”

“Yeah sure, shoot.”

“Is that really all why you don’t want to go out with me, because you are not ready? I have a feeling there is something else. Is there something wrong with me?”

To be completely truthful, there was, he had a habit of moving through girls faster than seasons changed but Ginny was not going to say that to his face. “No, no Simon, it’s nothing like that, there is nothing wrong with you.”

“So, you like someone else?” At this Ginny’s eyes dropped and Simon knew he had hit the bull’s eye. “Aha, so that’s it. You like someone else. And I think I know who that is.”

Ginny shot a questioning look at him.

“It’s Potter, right? The famous Harry Potter, savior of the wizarding world, has all the ladies lined up for him” he said in dreamy voice.

“That’s not why I like him” said Ginny firmly.

“Oh, sorry I didn’t mean that. I know that’s not why you like him. I saw how genuinely happy you were about two years back when you were dating him. You didn’t seem that happy with Corner or Thomas. And if you don’t already know this, he looked equally happy with you. It almost looked like you were in love or something. In fact, I didn’t think I or anyone else would have a shot with you once he was back from wherever he was, whatever he was off doing.”

Ginny shot a glance at him, he didn’t seem to be messing with her. Did Harry really seem so happy with her that it was apparent to everyone? The thought warmed her heart up, but then the image of Harry kissing that girl flashed in her mind.

“Well I guess war changes people, some more than the others. Things change” she said not meeting Simon’s gaze.

“Hey, if he has changed enough to not see how great you are, he is an idiot” said Simon placing his hand over hers. Ginny smiled at him. The bloke may be a player but maybe he wasn’t all bad. HE could definitely make a good friend.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Harry goes to win Ginny back, events unfold in a manner that leads to Ginny doing what she had been avoiding doing for several months. But once she has the burden lifted off her chest, both she and Harry would embark on a beautiful journey together.

Harry had never taken a quicker shower before. He hastily pulled a T shirt, a jacket and a pair of jeans out of the wardrobe and quickly slipped into them. He knew there was no point trying to soothe his hair so he didn’t touch it.

Within 10 minutes he was ready to head out and win his woman back. He ran down the stairs towards the fireplace. He didn’t even pause to say goodbye to Ron and Hermione or respond to Hermione’s cheering “Yeah Harry, go get her” or Ron’s warning “No snogging in public” and let the green flames engulf him.

He stepped out of the grate at the Leaky Cauldron and carefully scanned the whole place. He found Ginny and Donovan sitting at a table in the far corner.

A dim light was falling on Ginny’s tresses making the red, copper and brown in it shine in the most beautifully playful way possible. Her fiery locks streamed down her back in soft waves and lightly caressed her lower back. The dim gold light had a soft glow radiating from her face. Merlin, she looked gorgeous.

Harry saw Donovan shifting slightly in his chair and place his hand on Ginny’s. That was it, Harry paced towards the table and patted Donovan on the shoulder. He turned to look at him.

“Get your hand off of her” and with that Harry threw his fist at Donovan’s face, punching him as hard as he could.

“Harry, what the hell?” squealed Ginny bending down to help Donovan get back to his feet.

“It’s Ok Ginny. I was after all on a date with his girl. I understand” said Simon clutching his nose. Truth be told, he was a little intimidated by Harry at the moment, him having defeated one of the darkest wizards of all times and currently looking enraged.

“I’m not his girl” snapped Ginny.

“Mr. Potter, this sort of conduct can not be tolerated at this pub” the middle aged bar lady Harry had seen number of times working with Hannah, had approached them with warning written clearly over face. Perhaps Hannah was not around today.

“Sorry Potter, you can take her with you. I was about to leave anyway. I don’t think this was even a real date” said Donovan.

“What?” started Harry, only to be interrupted by the bar lady.

“Mr. Potter, I’m afraid, I’m going have to ask you to walk out of this pub immediately.”

Harry begrudgingly looked at the three of them and found Ginny glaring daggers at him. He quietly made his way out of the pub making up his mind to find some place secluded to wait for Ginny.

“Go after him” Donovan prodded.

“But your nose-” said Ginny anxiously.

“It’ll be fine. I’m sure this kind lady here can help me.”

“Of course, sir” said the bar lady stepping forward to hold Simon.

Harry turned towards a small alleyway, still shocked at his own impulse. He had not intended to hit Donovan, naturally, this had angered Ginny even more.

_Way to smooth things out Potter. _

Harry shut his eyes in annoyance over himself.

He had just leaned his back against the cold wall of the alleyway when a sudden yelling caught his attention.

Ginny stormed out of the pub to follow Harry. As she walked out of the door, she saw Harry turning to a small alleyway ahead. She hurried after him and found him leaning against the wall with his eyes closed as she entered the secluded alleyway.

“What the hell was that?” she demanded not bothering at all to keep her fury out of her voice.

Harry looked around, startled.

“I….I just….I didn’t-” Harry stuttered.

“Let me get this straight. So, it’s fine for you to snog random girls in restrooms, but I can’t have a decent date?” Ginny was fuming.

“I didn’t snog anyone, she threw herself at me” Harry tried to explain clearly exasperated.

“Oh, and then you just lost control as hormones gushed in and enjoyed the tasty dish served in a silver platter, right?”

“What? No, I pushed her off of me as soon as I could and then I blew her off and came out to find you.”

“To find me? Really Harry? Why would you give a tiny rat’s arse to where I was or what I was doing? Don’t start acting like you care now.”

_What? Where did that come from?_

She did not mean to say that, she still hoped that Harry did care and those letters were not just a bunch of deceptive big talks.

“But I do care” Harry sounded like he had been punched in the guts, every ounce of oxygen knocked out of his body. His voice was low and yet shrieked of how hurt he was. Ginny immediately regretted her words. But then, Harry said something that made her anger outweigh her regret.

“I used to look at your dot on my map of Hogwarts while I was away, to make sure you were safe” his voice was still low and soft.

“Well, I didn’t have a map, and I had no idea where you were, were you safe or not, whether you were alive, you or my brother, or Hermione, I had no clue about any of you.” Ginny had started in the same low voice as Harry, but it was rising with every word. Harry stood rooted the spot, unable to think of what to say. Her words had hit him like a fully accelerated bus. He knew his, Ron’s and Hermione’s disappearance must have affected and worried Ginny but had never given a thorough thought to the degree of it. He doubted he would have completely comprehended the magnitude of it even if he did ponder more over it, he after all was not the one at the receiving end of it. It was her strained voice that dripped with a misery beyond what he had bothered to fully contemplate. It made him think about the rest of the Weasleys too.

Before he could finish mentally cursing himself for his ignorance and think of anything to say however, he realized Ginny was not finished.

“You all just disappeared without a trace for months. I was losing my mind in desperation to get my hands on any little information on your whereabouts. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, not until Bill finally told us that you were all at his place, shaken and maybe injured but safe. It was almost nine months already, nine fucking tormenting months of being in complete darkness. Till then, I had no idea if you were ever coming back and I had nothing of you to hold on to.”

She sucked in a sharp, deep, shuddering breath. She was done holding things in, things that still haunted her whenever silence grew strong and unwanted solitude marched in. She knew, she was close to exploding like a hot deadly volcano, something she had been working so hard to avoid for past several months, but now, at this instant, she found, she had no intention to refrain herself.

“Me and almost everyone at the DA were tortured every other day for some reason or other. In the very first week of the term the Carrows took me in to torture me till I spilled any information on your location. Of course, some of the Slytherin wannabe deatheaters had let it slip that you and I were dating right before you went into hiding. Merlin knows for how long they would have kept it going, if Snape had not intervened and tried to convince them that we were broken up way before you disappeared and I truly had no clue about you. It was only his offer to use Veritaserum on me that got them convinced. But that didn’t stop them from finding other reasons to perform the Crutiatus Curse on me or let one of the wannabes do it. So, I guess your plan to keep me “safe” by dumping me didn’t work out very well” she air quoted the word -safe.

Harry could feel his eyes stinging and head spinning, torn between his greed for more insight and his urge to make this mortifying walk down this lane of heart- rending information, stop.

“You know what the only up side of Crutiatus Curse is? That it doesn’t leave a trace, so at least my family didn’t have to know what was going on at Hogwarts. But then I got that disgusting blisters covered gash. One look at it, and my mother decided I can’t go back to school and should instead be confined within the old hag’s house like a bloody captive.”

And then after months of mental and physical torture, I finally see you again, and instead of even showing the faintest sign of pleasure on seeing me, you were trying to shut me into _safety_ while you and my whole family could fight the battle. How incompetent do you think I am?” 

“I don’t think…..” began Harry only to be interrupted immediately.

“And within a matter of hours, my whole world was torn apart when I found out my brother had died” her face was gleaming with rapidly falling tears now, “but I somehow pulled myself together and fought only to find within minutes that I had been foolishly waiting for nothing all those months because you had willingly walked over to your own death. You were never coming back. You were dead. DEAD.”

Her breathing got uncontrollably heavy as she relived the harrowing moment of seeing Harry’s motionless body dangling in Hagrid’s arms, a sight she would never forget. She held her head in both her hands and turned away from Harry. She leaned against a cold wall and her back slid down the wall till she rested on the floor, her hands pulling her hair hard.

“You had no right to break me to pieces like that” she whispered between sobs.

Harry just stared at her for several moments absorbing her words, feeling his heart beating somewhere in his stomach as an image of Ginny being tortured by the Carrows flashed in his mind. He recalled Ron’s panicked yelling and fist banging back in the cellar of Malfoy Manor, while Hermione was being tortured. Now he understood what Ron must have been feeling then. His fists clenched on his sides, his jaw set. His first instinct was to ask Ginny about the wound on her arm and the violent red marks he had spotted on her back during last summer and finish off the person who had dared to do that to her, also, somehow- anyhow, resurrect the Carrow siblings and kill them again in a much more painful way than Avada Kedavra, give them the ruthless treatment they truly deserved, but at the moment there were more pressing matters at hand. He gulped and slowly approached her, fighting tears of his own and knelt down beside her.

“Gin. I was…. a complete arse” he whispered thickly. “I never fully contemplated, what the last year must have been like for you. I know it’s not even close to enough but I am so sorry”.

“No, Harry, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…..it’s just…..I don’t know what just got into me. You’ve been- I mean you don’t- I really shouldn’t-“stuttered Ginny, who was again drowning in the confusing mix of overwhelming emotions and struggling to find the right words.

Immediately after she was done with her little outburst, she felt guilty for it. It was Harry she had been mercilessly lashing out on, Harry who had been through so much, who had been thrust on with more responsibilities than anyone his age should have been, and he had accomplished each one of them with his relentless determination, resolve and valor, Harry who had never known the love and warmth of a family of his own and had still always been this sweet, kind, humble man she fell for. So, what if he kissed some random wench at a pub or punched her “date” in the face, did he really deserve to be thumped with accusations? Moreover, did his motif deserve to be compared with the dirty hoodwinks and scams of Tom fucking Riddle? She felt disgusted with herself, for she might have had willingly pushed Harry to dive into greater depths of self blame and guilt. She felt like she had ripped off the bandage from a hardly recovering wound exposing it again.

“God, you are not to be blamed for anything that happened to me. I swear I didn’t mean-” she squeezed her eyes shut and dug her fingers on her eyelids struggling to make up for the emotional mayhem she had created.

“- Please, please don’t take it that way. I have no right-”

“You have every right to be furious. I deserve that. I should have talked to you way back when we were both home. I am sorry, I shut myself off. I am sorry for having not even the slightest idea what you had to endure while I was away, actually- maybe I had from everything that Neville had told us about himself, but I was in denial till I just heard it from you. And that’s only because, the mere idea of you getting hurt, even slightly….it’s too much for me to bear Gin” he placed a tentative hand on the back of hers.

“That’s why I did what I thought could keep you safe. Of course, in retrospect, it was really foolish of me to think that any place could actually be safe. It was for the same reason that I wanted you to stay in the room of requirements during the battle. It was stupid, I know. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I made you feel that I think you are incompetent. I could never think that Gin, only a fool could think so. I think you are so, so strong, much stronger than me” Harry said emphasizing the word ‘much’.

“You know, I had to carry a part of Voldemort’s soul for a few months that too in turns with Ron and Hermione, and I so often felt defeated by it, like I couldn’t take it any longer, but you…. you fought with that for almost a year, all alone and you didn’t let it break you” he looked at her with stronger admiration than she has ever seen on his face- at least for her.

Harry pressed on “That’s how amazingly strong you are and nothing can ever make me think otherwise, but- I-“ he heaved a sigh, letting his shoulders slouch a little- “I would still always have this unceasing need to keep you safe, to protect you, I can’t help it, but I can try to tone it down a notch”, his voice sincere and apologetic.

Ginny was hanging on each word he said. She was looking at Harry as if she was seeing him for the first time.

_Carried a piece of Voldemort’s soul- all three of them? And this was just coming up now? Why? She would have to dig deeper into this later._

“And, I’m sorry that I put you in that position, that I made you miserable worrying so much, frankly, I wouldn’t be surprised if you hate me for all this. I don’t deserve any civility from you” Harry finished swallowing hard.

“Shut up Harry, you are being a noble prat again” Ginny wiped the tears from her face, trying to force a smile.

She held his hand firmly “You did what you _had_ to do. I do understand why you chose to do what you did, it’s just…. it still hurt, a lot. Yeah, I felt angry when you broke up with me for that stupid noble reason, or when you left and never tried to contact but only because I was so insanely worried about you- all the time, because I care for you.”

“So do I Ginny, I care a great deal about you.”

“I know, I-”

“I’m sorry that I failed to show you how much I care or how much you mean to me. I guess, I am not the most expressive bloke around. But the thought of you didn’t escape my mind for a single minute, not when I was hunting down horcruxes, not when I was grieving, not now when I am training to be an Auror, and ….I wouldn’t even think of being with anyone else, even if you completely cut me off from your life- at least not right now. I didn’t kiss that girl Gin. Believe me” Harry pleaded squeezing her hand.

Ginny stared into those deep emerald orbs, spilling with nothing but truth and honesty.

A small smile curved on her lips “Well, to be honest, I didn’t really want to be on this date either. I don’t think it can even be called a date exactly. I just came to tell him I can’t date him and to apologize, and I couldn’t stop thinking about you the whole time, just like I couldn’t stop thinking about you all these mo- mmmhm” Harry’s lips had caught hers, obstructing her speech.

It took her a second to get herself together and then she leaned into the kiss. At once, a thousand fireworks had lit and exploded inside her. Merlin, she had missed the feel of his lips on hers, his warm breath meandering through her throat, the smoothness of his tongue gliding over her lips, his musky scent consuming her senses. It had been so long, so fucking long.

She felt one of Harry’s hands sliding up her back into her hair and the other one cupping her cheek. She firmly gripped his T- shirt for balance while her free hand slipped to the nape of his neck.

There was so much hunger, so much urgency in his kiss, as if he was trying to make up for all the time that he had not been kissing her.

Harry felt his breath getting labored as their tongues intertwined with each other and danced together in perfect rhythm. He wanted time to freeze in that moment. He didn’t want to be anywhere else, doing anything else for a long, long time. He reluctantly pulled back just a little, freeing his lower lip from the soft clasp of Ginny’s teeth, dragging himself out of the blissful oblivion, so that he could ask the question he had waited so long to ask.

Trying his best to ignore Ginny’s confused expression he asked “Gin….I know it’s too much to ask given what a prick I have been past few months….but….would you take me back?” He pulled back a little more to study her reaction.

“What do you think I am doing right now?” breathed Ginny “Just shut up and kiss me, Potter”. She grabbed his face with both her hands and pulled him back into the kiss. Harry happily complied with a broad grin on his face.

The thankfully deserted alleyway (apart from the two occupants) kept echoing with the sound of hoarse and gentle moans, rustle of hands sliding over woolen fabrics, rasp of heavy breathing and enthusiastic, hungry kisses as they snogged the living daylight out of each other for several more minutes.

But another rather urgent confession was rising up from Harry’s stomach to his unreliable mouth, and before his mouth could take over the better judgement of his brain, he thought he should take charge and formulate his confession carefully instead of word vomiting so, he pulled back again leaving both of them catching their breath.

“Uh…there is just one more thing, that I think you should know….I…..er” he looked into her bright brown eyes “I am quite hopelessly, irretrievably in love with you.” There, he had said it and there was no turning back, not that he even remotely wanted to. He didn’t really expect Ginny to say it back right then but still unconsciously, he held his breath.

A mix of shock and ecstasy crept up Ginny’s face and Harry had no apprehensions reading it this time.

Ginny felt lighter than air in that moment. Kissing Harry after months was surreal, but it was still nothing compared to this declaration. In a blink of an eye she could have exploded with joy and Harry seemed to know exactly what she was feeling as he rubbed his palm against hers and smugly asked her “Is that OK?”

_Git._

Ginny smothered a grin and ignored the tightness around her throat, and as nonchalantly as possible she replied “Yeah, I guess that’s OK. Especially considering the fact that, I love you too, just as hopelessly”, all paranoia and fear of vulnerability vanishing into thin air, just a bizarre easiness and naturalness surrounding the words escaping her lips.

Next thing she knew, her face was showered with kisses. She couldn’t help but giggle frantically as Harry continued with his exploration of every inch of her face with his lips for the next few seconds with the occasional mutterings of “I love you so much”.

The dreaded Christmas (coming in a couple of days) was definitely looking up now.

Over the next few days Harry and Ginny would discover every little detail from their time apart, every scar the battle had left them with, from the ones that were visible and tangible like the oval one from the locket on Harry’s chest or the two marks of fangs piercing through his shoulder, from when he narrowly escaped Nagini’s attack to the ones that couldn’t be seen like the repercussions of the repeated use of crutiatus curse on Ginny, leading them both to realize exactly how much importance they hold in each other’s lives and how much love they really bear for one another. It was so much more than any words, any amount of physical contact and proximity could ever convey.

Harry would resolve to never put anything or anyone above Ginny, and commit his heart and soul to her, nothing else could be a priority over his wonderful Ginny and there would be absolutely no more secrets from her. And Ginny would pledge to love Harry so much that he would forget he was ever deprived of affection.

When she would depart again for Hogwarts, it would be much easier and yet so much harder for them to say good bye to each other than the last time. But at least this time there would be a certainty, there would be hopes and dreams, there would be hearts bursting with love and even though the ghosts of the past would not cease to exist, lives would be moving forward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed reading this fic. I've posted all the chapters at once, because I don't think any one would be indulged enough to wait for the days for the next chapter to be posted.   
Super nervous about this. Fingers crossed.


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